


Second Chances and New Beginnings

by jasmineisland



Series: Second Chances [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Torture, flashbacks of non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 02:21:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4287036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmineisland/pseuds/jasmineisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has disappeared, an ancient form of being called Leviathan are freed from Purgatory, Sam’s wall is down, sending him into horrific flashbacks of what he suffered for over a century. With no idea how to evade or fight the latest Apocalypse, Dean concentrates on what’s most important to him. Putting his brother back together. But a shocking turn of events put the Winchesters on another journey. What does their father and an archangel have in common with stopping the end of the world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my submission for the 2015 SPNJ2 Big Bang  
> My artist stormbrite gave me so many amazing pics I couldn't get them all into the fic. So please go check them out and let her know how great they are.  
> Link to art: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4232403  
> Many thanks to janicec678 for being my beta and for helping me smooth out some of the sections I was really struggling with.

Sam had been drinking. Not a lot -- that method of coping was more Dean’s style -- but enough to give him a bit of a sway when he’d walked back into the room and shut the door. Stone sober, Dean had watched him warily- it had only been a little over two months since the Hell had been sent crashing into his little brother’s head and he felt the need to be clear-headed in case things went south. But they didn’t. Instead things definitely went in a much better direction when that large hand gripped the back of his neck and pulled him in for a bruising kiss.

With a sigh, Dean forced himself to pull back. “Sammy?”

For a moment, the younger man looked confused. “I might not always be sure of what I’m seeing, Dean, but I always know who I am.”

“No, I don’t mean it that way.” Green eyes searched hazel ones for a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Okay with this?” The sudden realization showed on his face and he smiled. Sliding Dean’s jacket off and moving so close their bodies were touching, Sam shrugged. “I’m more okay right here than anywhere else.” 

Relieved, the older Winchester reached out and gripped his brother’s waist gently. “Good to hear.”

They kissed again, but this time Dean didn’t pull away. Instead he spread his legs a bit to accommodate the thigh moving between them and parted his lips in an invitation. When Sam pulled him towards the bed, he was pliant, desperately wanting to believe that his brother was ready for this.

They hit the bed together with a tangle of arms and legs that didn’t quite fit, even on the king sized bed. For a moment Dean wished they were back at Bobby’s, in the huge California king that had appeared while they were away on a hunt a few months ago. Dean knew it was Bobby’s way of saying he knew and he wasn’t going to disown them for their choices. None of them had ever said a word about it, but he would be eternally grateful for their father figure’s understanding.

“Dean, I’m fine. I swear.” Sam had taken his brother’s distraction for rejection.

“No; I know. Just… thinking about Bobby.”

Now the younger man pulled back. “Random. And eeewww, by the way.” 

“Not… asshole.” Dean cuffed Sam’s head gently. “I mean the bed.”

“Oh, okay, I get that.” Sam laughed. “We don’t really fit in this one.” Taking the opportunity of their ‘break,’ he kicked his shoes off and worked his way out of his clothes. “Gotta admit, that shocked me.”

“You and me, both, little brother.” Pulling his own shirt off over his head, Dean laughed. “I thought we’d been pretty stealthy about it.”

“Things were so crazy back then-“ With a harsh laugh, the younger Winchester stretched out on his back. “We THOUGHT things were so crazy back then, we probably slipped up. I’m guessing right after you got my soul back. Probably weren’t exactly quiet that night.”

After getting his soul back, it hadn’t taken Sam long to want the ‘other things’ back as well. The older Winchester smiled to himself when he thought about how twitchy Sam had been. He’d been desperate to find out just what was going on with Lisa, feeling guilty that he’d completely destroyed Dean’s chance at that life -- Dean still cursed Cas for spilling the vampire story to his still fragile brother -- and yet wanting desperately to get into Dean’s pants. For Dean, it had been almost two years; but for Sam, it had been yesterday the last time they’d actually had sex. Seeing Lisa again and knowing it was for the last time had ripped something out of Dean, but it had also solidified what he’d always known deep down. Sam was it for him. It had taken him a few days, but finally he’d welcomed Sam back from a beer run by slamming the taller man against the wall and kissing him. The warm hand on his back pulled him from the memory. “You okay?”

Turning, Dean flashed a smile at his brother that he could actually say he felt. “You’re probably right. That was the best make-up/back-together/one-of-us-back-from-the-dead sex I’ve ever had.” 

The bed shook from how hard Sam was laughing. “Our lives are fucking weird, man.”

It was good to see him laugh. Hadn’t been much to laugh about for either one of them the last few weeks. Nightmares left him screaming himself hoarse until he could finally respond to Dean’s desperate calls to wake up. The hallucinations had gotten pretty bad, and Dean was the only one that could pull him out. Cas had disappeared – or rather the Leviathan inside Cas had disappeared, taking the angel with him.

Another memory came back to him. The moment he’d finally cornered his brother regarding the hallucinations, hating himself the whole time. Fighting to keep calm when he really wanted to shake the kid for trying to hide it, Dean had finally had it with ‘I’m okay.’

_“Fuck that. You’re NOT okay, and I need to you tell me how bad.”_

_With a sigh, Sam had stared at the floor. “Bad.” The way he’d started to tremble and avoid eye contact told Dean everything he’d needed to know. Meeting Bobby’s eyes, Dean had shaken his head and moved to sit beside him._  
_“I’m not pissed about you having bad times, Sam. Christ, I had a ton of them. More bad than good for a while there after I got topside. But how am I gonna help if you don’t tell me?”_

_“You mean like you told me?”_

_Dean shrugged. “Yeah, and look how well THAT plan turned out.”_

_The younger man curled in on himself, taking Dean’s words as a chastise and Bobby finally crossed the room to sit by Sam._

_“Kid, we both tried to tell your brother and he didn’t listen. For once, ya think you can learn from his fuckups?” One glance had silenced any defense Dean was about to throw out. “We’re here for ya, Sam. You ain’t gonna do this alone.”_

_Finally hazel eyes raised to stare at both men and he nodded. “Thanks.”_

_Being thrown under Bobby’s bus was worth it anytime if it got through to Sam. And it did. After that, Sam would actively seek one of them out when he felt it getting past what he could pull out of himself. But a few times it had hit him so hard and fast that Dean was afraid he was going to lose his brother to the hallucination of Lucifer in his mind. What he’d done was just grab the younger man and held him, whispering in his ear that Lucifer wasn’t real and he was there with Dean. After what seemed like hours Sam had finally snapped out of it and stared at his brother._

“Dean?”

Snapping out of it himself, Dean turned to his brother. “Sorry.”

“Thought I was the one that kept zoning out around here.”

“Nope. You don’t get to keep that title to yourself. Just thinking.”

“Look,” That nervous look crossed Sam’s face again. “If you’re not sure I can handle this, I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t.” Moving closer, the older man took the large hand and squeezed it. “Gonna take your word for this one, Sammy.” He grinned. “The fact that every drop of blood in my head ran south the second you stretched out like that has nothing to do with it.”

“Nothing, huh?” With a smile, Sam wrapped his free hand around his own dick and stroked slowly. “This doin’ anything for the blood rush?”

Dean moved over Sam, but in a split second he found himself spread out under his younger but bigger- that was STILL so not fair, dammit- brother. Before he could vocalize his displeasure at that fact, he was covered with solid heat.  
Stretched out over the smaller man, Sam ground his hips slowly while kissing Dean with a desperation that came from not having had his brother like this in way too long. 

“Aww, Sammy. You gonna give it to your big brother?” Lucifer’s voice was close to his ear and he closed his eyes. If he saw that smug grin now, he’d lose it. And he was determined NOT to lose it.

Breaking the kiss, Sam moved his mouth to the spot he knew sent shivers up Dean’s spine.

For a moment, Dean thought his brother was actually stopping to smell him. But his mind went blank when he felt teeth close over the muscle at the joint between his neck and shoulder. Arching his back, the older man reached up and gripped a handful of hair to pull sharply. The feeling of a long, hard dick grinding against his own and a growl against his neck almost sent him over the edge.

Lifting his head, Sam kissed his brother again, this time running his tongue along the edge of Dean’s teeth, enjoying the taste with the tinge of pain. It helped him block out everything else except the two of them. He used his knees to push Dean’s legs apart and slid down his body, biting and then licking across the skin. The feeling of his brother writhing under him as he moved just encouraged Sam and he shifted his body until he was literally staring at the thick cock that was dripping precum.

“Sammy…..” Dean breathed more than spoke his name, and it would have been perfect if Lucifer hadn’t said the exact same thing. Sam dragged his tongue up the underside of his brother’s dick and lapped at the drop of precum that appeared when he hit the sensitive head. Using one hand to jack his brother slowly, Sam nipped and licked around Dean’s hips

Lifting his head, Dean realized Sam had stopped with his face against his skin. “Sammy? Y’okay?”

With a sigh, Sam nodded and looked up at the older man. “It’s…..”

Worried, he sat up. “Talk to me. What is it?”

“Things..... people….. you.” Sam bit his lip and searched for the words to explain. “Down….there.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word Hell for fear it would give his hallucinations more power somehow. “Smelled and tasted like ash. Sulfur. ‘S different up here. Helps.” He shrugged, but his eyes remained downcast. “C’n tell you’re real.”

Dean’s heart broke at the mumbled words. Sam had been literally tasting and smelling him to keep himself grounded in reality. “Hey,” Keeping his voice low, he reached out and touched his brother’s chin to raise those eyes so he could see them. “You do whatever you have to do, Sammy. You keep yourself here with me, and however it happens, I’m okay with it.”

A small smile appeared and the shaggy mop of hair nodded. “Kay.” Pushing Dean back down, he engulfed his older brother’s cock in his mouth. When it hit the back of his throat, for a moment he couldn’t breathe- no one was holding him, he wasn’t being forced, but he almost went into a panic. Closing his eyes, he lifted his head a bit and inhaled the scent of his brother.

For a second, Dean had been unable to form any words. But he felt the shift from aggressive to uncharacteristically cautious, he lifted his head and looked down. Sam had slowed down and was using his hand to keep Dean’s aching cock from going too far into his mouth.

Something had triggered him, Dean knew that. But short of telling Sam to stop, which would only make it worse, there wasn’t anything the older Winchester could do besides wait him out. After about thirty seconds, Sam seemed to get whatever was going on in his head straight enough to move up over Dean to kiss him.

Easing down beside his brother, Sam traced his ribs with a finger. “Sorry.”

“No- don’t do that.” Dean shook his head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” The selfish part of him wondered briefly if he’d ever feel his cock slide down that hot silky throat again. But right now his little brother was embarrassed and he had to something about that. “Come here.” Kissing the younger man gently, he slowly wrapped his arm around those broad shoulders. Kissing seemed to do the trick, and it wasn’t long before he felt gentle nips on his bottom lip. Dean took that as his cue and he slid his other hand down, applying just a hint of pressure as he worked over the taut muscles of his brother’s abdomen. Finally he reached the juncture at the top of Sam’s thigh. He brushed his fingers softly over the younger man’s balls and was more relieved than anything else when he felt a shudder run through Sam. Wrapping his fingers around his brother’s once-again hard and dripping cock, he stroked gently.

A low groan accompanied a harsh bite and Dean knew they were back on track. His head hurt from having to overthink what was once so natural between them, but he kept going. A large hand closed around his dick and he saw stars briefly, but this wasn’t how he really wanted this to go. They hadn’t touched each other since Cas had blown the wall down, and Dean felt like they both needed more of a connection than just jerking each other off. But he wasn’t sure Sam was ready for more. Figuring he’d just have to go for it and see what happened, he let go long enough to reach for the lube he kept next to the bed and hand it to the younger Winchester.

Sam knew exactly what his brother wanted, and he reluctantly tore himself away from the kiss to get into a better position. Eternally grateful that Dean was going to bottom without the persuasion that was usually needed to get over his control issues, he coated his fingers before sliding his hand down between his brother’s thighs.

“Awww, he’s gonna let you top – guess he’s forgotten what an obedient bottom you are.” Right on cue, Lucifer’s voice rang in his ear and he winced.

Seeing those hazel eyes dart to the left before closing tightly, Dean reached for him. With a handful of hair, he pulled Sam down for a harsh kiss, literally sucking his brother’s tongue into his mouth.

Relaxing into the kiss, Sam pushed gently at Dean’s entrance. It had been so long, Sam knew it would take some time to get his brother opened enough to take him comfortably. Desperate to do this right, he tried to take his time.

Patience was not something known to the older Winchester. Especially when he felt like he was battling a fucking hallucination in his lover’s mind. “Gonna be over before we get started if you’re gonna take all day, Sammy.”

“Control freak.” But Sam laughed and added another finger, trying to get his brother as ready as he could.

“I’m good. Come on.” He was trying to sound cocky, but inside he was shaking. Well-versed in what happened in hell, he had no way of knowing what word or action would send his brother’s mind to the memories of what had been done to him. The internal panic came screeching to a halt when he felt the familiar sensation of Sam breeching his body. “That’s it.”

Winchesters were, apparently genetically, talkers in bed. Filthy, demanding, possessive, a pretty steady stream of it was the norm, not to mention the times they made it a mission to get the other off just by talking. But right now, other than an ‘oh God’ and his brother’s name, Dean was silent. The thought of inadvertently triggering Sam even overrode the amazing feeling of his prostrate getting nailed on every thrust.

“Speechless already?” Sam tried to sound like he was joking, but he knew his fragile mental state was wearing on his brother.

“C’mere.” When Sam’s tongue was mapping out the inside of his mouth, he finally allowed himself to relax. The slow, hard thrusts wasn’t their normal taste, but if that’s what Sam needed, Dean was onboard. No matter how it happened, that huge dick pounding into him was a good thing.

Breaking the kiss, Sam moved his mouth to his brother’s neck, nipping and biting down on the muscle. The older Winchester was too far gone to even think about what it might or might not have meant. But when hazel eyes stared into his and a soft kiss touched his lips, he looked up.

“I love you.”

Being used to things like ‘I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll feel me for a week,’ those three words threw Dean completely off his game. Sam said it to him pretty frequently- but usually in the forced post-sex cuddle. A shiver ran through him and he reached up to touch his brother’s face. They’d had sex more times than either could count. Every position and on any surface available. But this? The open emotion in those eyes and the soft voice just broke him. With absolutely no warning, his body clamped down and he was shooting jets of come across his own stomach. He wasn’t even aware of his brother’s rhythm faltering before his own release came.

Dean was still trying to catch his breath when the younger Winchester managed to stretch out beside him and wrap an arm and leg around him. He vaguely became aware of the soft nips to his shoulder and turned to look at Sam. The soft smile actually made his heart pound a little faster. Reaching over, he gently entwined his hand in that long thick hair and leaned so close their lips were almost touching. “I love you.”

A blinding grin split the younger man’s face and he pulled Dean closer. They fell asleep that way.

**************************************************************************

  
The phone ringing woke Dean and he reached over absently. “Yeah?”  
“Dean?”

Bobby’s voice dragged the hunter out of his half sleep and he glanced at his sleeping brother before answering softly. “Yeah. What’s up?”

“Can you boys get back here?”

“We’ve been gone a week, Bobby. What’s up?”

“Can’t explain it on the phone. Just get yourselves back here.”

The no nonsense tone worried the Winchester. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just…. something you two need to see.”

“Okay, we’ll head back your way. If we drive straight through-“

“No, don’t break your necks getting here. Not goin’ anywhere. Just head this way.”

“Will do.” 

“How’s Sam?”

It still warmed Dean’s heart that Bobby still cared about his brother. After RoboSam had tried to kill him, Dean wasn’t sure Bobby would ever even say Sam’s name again.

“He’s hanging on. Sleeping right this minute. No nightmares last night.” Of course, said brother’s arm was draped over his chest and his face buried against his arm, but he didn’t need to tell Bobby that.

“Good to hear. I’ll see you boys soon.”

The call ended and Dean watched Sam continue to sleep.

It was roughly 40 hours later when the Impala pulled into the salvage yard and came to a halt in what had unofficially become her parking place years ago. Before the Winchesters could even get out of the car, Bobby exited the house and stood on the porch.

Moving as one unit, the brothers approached him and climbed the stairs.

“Boys,” The older hunter was still trying to figure out how to say it.

“What’s wrong, Bobby?” Sam’s voice was low, hoping that the news wasn’t as bad as the impression he was getting from Bobby.

“Just…. I need the two of you to see something, but I need you to stay calm.”

“Are you in trouble?” Dean’s voice carried an implication that if anything or anyone was bothering the older hunter, they would take care of it immediately.

“NO. I’m fine. I need the two of you to come in, and NOT go ballistic.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Taking their answer as a promise, Bobby nodded and led them past the kitchen and into the living room.

Dean stopped so suddenly Sam actually ran into him. Confusion crossed both brothers’ faces and they stepped closer. The transformation from confused to angry wasn’t lost on Bobby, who managed to stay in front of them and between the two men and the figure in the chair.

“What the fuck! What are you!” Dean’s voice rose, and Sam stood at his shoulder, ready to move around behind the chair.

“I told you both to stay calm.” Deliberately keep his voice low, Bobby held his hands up in a placating gesture. “I’ve run every test I got, B sides included. He passed them all. Everything I got? He’s the real deal.”

Both men realized in that instant that Bobby wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t just blindly believing. Any more than they were.  
A man was tied to a chair that was placed inside a devil’s trap. He was staring intently at them as if he barely recognized them. Which was probably close to the truth. The man in the chair was John Winchester.


	2. Chapter 2

“Can you untie me now?” The words came out in more of a growl, telling the other three hunters that John’s patience was wearing thin. 

The look on Sam’s face was all Dean needed. A desperation to believe that their father was really sitting in front of them forced the older brother to make a move. As badly as he wanted it to be true as well, he wasn’t about to say hello to Dad until they were one hundred percent sure. Reaching for his brother’s bicep, he dragged the larger man into the kitchen. 

“Dean-“ 

“Don’t, Sam. Just don’t.” 

“What do we do?” 

They were both thinking the same thing. Their first instinct was to call Cas. 

“I don’t know. But that…” He gestured towards the living room. “I don’t know, Sammy. But since when has something that seemed good ever really BEEN good for either of us?” 

“Awww, what a sweet family reunion.” Lucifer’s voice cut through Sam and he bit his lip before he could actually answer. 

Instantly Dean reached for him. “I know that look, Sam. Don’t.” He touched his brother’s arm. “Don’t let what’s going on in there rattle you in here.” Gently, he wrapped his hand around Sam’s neck. “That might be the point, Sammy. Don’t let it.” 

Closing his eyes for a moment, the taller man nodded. “Trying not to. But why? I mean, not like anything with this kind of juice is after us right now. Doesn’t make sense.” 

“I’d say there’s plenty with this kind of juice that would love to fuck with us.” 

“So what do we do? Can’t just leave him tied up. If Bobby put him through the paces and came up empty…..” 

“We don’t turn our backs on him. Not until we find a way to know 100%. You with me?” 

“’Course.” Sam’s voice and expression showed surprise that his brother had to even ask that. 

“Hey!” Bobby’s voice caught their attention. “I tied him up before you got here to keep shit from going south. Your call what to do now.” 

With a sigh, Dean shrugged. “Untie him.” Moving quickly, he pulled his knife and cut through the ropes holding John to the chair. 

Rubbing his sore wrists, John stood. He looked just as he had before Sam had found his corpse lying in that hospital room almost six years ago. 

With a wry smile, the oldest Winchester took in his two boys. “Bobby said you’d both grown up, but…..” His voice raised a bit in pitch when emotions threatened to keep him from speaking. “Christ, my boys are full-grown men.” 

Their final conversation came back to Sam and he fought the tears. He took a deep breath to still the emotions and turned to Bobby. 

“I don’t know any more than you do, Sam. Showed up here day before yesterday with more questions than answers.” 

“So, the who or what and the why?” Eager to be distracted, the youngest Winchester started a short list in his head of things that could have pulled off bringing back their dead father. 

Dean squeezed his shoulder. “I can hear you thinking from here.” He still worried about the hallucinations and nightmares that plagued his brother but didn’t want to call attention to it in front of John just yet. “Whatever brought him back, we’re not going to find it tonight.” 

“There are so many things I want to ask you both.” John’s voice shook a bit. “So many things…..” He trailed off and shook his head. “Lot of catching up to do.” 

The thought of telling his father the horrible things he’d done made Sam nauseous. If he’d been disowned for going to college, what the fuck would John do once he found out his youngest had actually almost ended the world? Than another thought hit him. Dad being back. Dean. More to the point HIM and Dean. Would Dean go back to…..

The look on Sam’s face told Dean exactly what the younger brother was thinking. Before those emotions could get out of hand, he gently directed him to the door, mumbling that they needed some air. 

Sam was shaking by the time Dean got him out of hearing range of the house. “Come on, Sammy. I know it’s a lot to take in, but you gotta breathe here, man.” 

Knowing his brother was worried about the state of his mind, Sam shrugged. “It’s fine, Dean. I’m just….. really freaked out.” 

“You and me both, dude.” 

“It’s not that I’m not glad he’s back, Dean. You know that.” 

“But these things don’t go well for us, usually, I know.” Forcing himself to stay calm, the older Winchester reached up and gripped his brother gently by the back of the neck. “We’ll figure it out. And we’ll deal with it.” 

John watched the boys leave the house and turned to Bobby. “Seems a lot’s changed.” 

“Understatement.” 

“Gotta find out what the hell brought me back and why.” John started to pace. 

“Yep.” 

“Bobby, they’re so…….” 

“Told you, John. They grew up.” 

“Yeah, that’s ALL you’ve said.” Bobby’s unwillingness to discuss Sam or Dean was still aggravating him. “But what-“ 

“Not my story to tell. Gonna have to talk to them.” Reaching out, Bobby gripped John’s arm. “And I mean talk, John. Not always your strong suit.” 

The thought of Bobby Singer telling him how to deal with his boys still irked him after all these years. “They’re my boys, Bobby!” 

“They WERE your boys, John. Now they’re still your sons, but they’re men. Both of ‘em. Gonna have to deal with that or this whole thing’s just gonna blow up at ya.” There was no doubt where they boys’ loyalties were- with each other. “Only gonna bite you in the ass if you try to strong arm either one of them now.” 

“You always liked to tell me how to raise them. Guess that hasn’t changed.” 

“No telling you how to raise them now, John. THAT’s what I’m trying to tell you.” 

“I need some air.” Before things deteriorated to guns being drawn again, John headed for the door. 

“Just don’t go getting that air anywhere near them just yet.” Bobby muttered just loud enough for the other hunter to hear him before the door closed.   


** ***************************************  **

  
Nodding, Sam just stared at his brother, wondering for about the one millionth time, how things can change so much so fucking fast. When Dean pulled away and started to pace, the taller Winchester took a deep breath and watched him.   
The instant he lost his focus, Lucifer’s voice rang through his head. “Dear old Daddy’s not gonna be happy with what Sammy and Dean have been up to, you know.” Against his will, Sam turned his head and saw Lucifer himself sitting on the hood of an old Lincoln. “What do you think Daddy’s going to do when he finds out what you’ve been doing to his perfect son?” 

Shaking his head, Sam backed up until he was leaning against stripped out pickup. 

“Come on, Sammy. We both know the answer. Daddy’s gonna write your name on a bullet and give it to you.” The devil moved closer and, against his will, Sam shook his head and leaned away as a hand reached for him. “Right between those pretty black eyes.” 

Even as he felt a touch on his forehead Sam was aware of something else. The smell of leather, gun oil, sweat, and aftershave. It pushed through everything else and he reached up to grip the hands that were holding his arms. “D’n?” 

“Yeah, Sammy. It’s me.” If Dean had still believed God cared he would have thanked him. Hazel eyes focused on him and blinked a few times. “You back?” 

Sam realized he was sitting on the ground against the truck with his brother so close he was almost sitting in his lap. Calloused hands traveled up to his face, directing his gaze into those green eyes. Nodding, he leaned over and buried his face in Dean’s neck, inhaling more of that scent that told him the feel of his brother against him was real. 

John heard his son yelling his brother’s name and ran towards the sound. Anything that could make his oldest sound that panicked couldn’t be good. When he approached where he thought the sound came from, he slowed. He might have been dead for the last six years or so, but he was still a hunter, and his freshly rejuvenated body still remembered stealth. If something had attacked the boys, their best chance was whatever it was not knowing he was there.   
Moving closer he peered around a stack of crushed cars to find his sons on the ground, Dean holding Sam against him in a way that, if he hadn’t been so much bigger, he would have been completely hidden. At first he thought his youngest was hurt, but before he could reveal himself, Dean gripped the large arms and pulled Sam to his feet. 

Oblivious to anything or anyone around them, Dean leaned his brother against the truck and held his head gently. “Sammy?” 

Nodding, Sam pulled the older man closer. “Sorry.” 

“Stop saying that!” His voice was harsher than he intended, and when Sam pulled back, he shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. This isn’t your fault. Just focus on me and keep it together, okay?” 

Again, he nodded. 

Relief washed over the older man and he sighed. “Christ. Every fucking time you get that look on your face I’m afraid you’re not going to make it back.” Dropping his head, he put his forehead against Sam’s collarbone. “Scare the shit out of me, Sammy.” 

“I hate it.” Reaching up, he gripped the back of Dean’s neck. “I hate that I put you through this.” 

“Don’t. We could spend the rest of our lives on who’s got it worse and never agree, okay? Point is, you’re back.” 

Taking another step, John steeled himself to approach them. Right before he could call out, he saw his youngest’s arm reach out and pull his oldest tighter against him. They were standing close, literally plastered to each other, and John realized what was coming about a half second before it actually did. 

Sam turned slightly so they were both against the truck and leaned his head down. “I’m here. I’ll always come back to you.” 

Knowing it was a promise Sam really couldn’t make, Dean nodded. He knew his brother would always try and that had to be enough. So when the taller man leaned down, he met his lips halfway. It was gentle, no heat, just comfort for both of them. Too much happening too fast, and they just needed to know the other was there. 

John watched the familiar way they were holding each other and kissing, feeling his blood run cold. He needed answers, and he needed them now. Staying out of their sight and being as quiet as he’d ever been able to be, he made his way back into the house. Passing Bobby in the kitchen, he moved towards where he knew the other hunter kept the weapons. 

“John?” Still not trusting what claimed to be the eldest Winchester, he moved towards him slowly, keeping his own weapon behind his back. 

“What the fuck, Singer? You ran every test in the book on me. Made up a few, probably. But when’s the last time you bothered to check on either one of those boys?” Fighting the emotion, John turned to him. “Gotta find out what happened.” 

Bobby’s head was spinning. “What are you talking about?” He knew there was iron and salt in the floor, the doorknobs made of silver, and various other runes or sigils scattered around the house. If Sam and Dean weren’t Sam and Dean, he would have known it. His thoughts were interrupted by John slamming the shotgun back together and searching for silver. 

“John, stop.” It hit Bobby that he was talking about the boys and loading guns. “Goddammit, STOP!” 

“Saw ‘em, Bobby.” All the anger rushed out of him and he just looked lost. “Not my boys.” 

“You want to tell me what suddenly convinced you those boys aren’t who they say they are?” 

Slamming the shotgun down on the table, John stared at the ground. “Saw ‘em. Out there-“ 

“I told you to stay away from them.” 

“Will you fucking listen to me? Those….. whatever they are- they are Not. Sam. And. Dean.” He punctuated each word with his finger on the table. 

“For ten goddamn seconds will you stop and tell me what you saw?” 

“They…..” He couldn’t even say it. “Doing….. Brothers don’t do that. Not brothers. Not my boys.” 

It clicked in Bobby’s head. John saw THEM. Shaking his head to stave off a mental image he’d never be able to unsee, Bobby took a deep breath. “Balls.” 

“That’s all you’ve got to say? You have no idea how long Sam and Dean have been missing and that’s all you’ve got to say?” 

Knowing he had to diffuse this NOW, Bobby stepped in front of the panicked Winchester. “John, stop. It’s them.” 

“You don’t know, Singer. What they were doing-“

“I’m NOT discussing it with you. Gonna smack them both for this one. But it’s them, John.” Taking advantage of how stunned John was at the revelation, Bobby took the guns and moved them to the other room. 

Once he was sure they weren’t going to be shot when they came through the door, he allowed his anger to direct him. Opening the door, he literally bellowed their names into the yard. 

Both men came running, guns drawn. 

“You okay?” Both asked at once. 

“Put the guns away. Nobody’s getting shot on my property today. Unless I’m the one doin’ the shooting.” 

His hostile tone took both Winchesters by surprise. 

Taking in the sight, Bobby shook his head. Sam’s hair was all over the place, both of their shirts rumpled, and their lips- not something Bobby had ever wanted to think about before, but he’d seen it once he’d known. Yep. “Fuckin’ idjits.” 

“What?” 

“What?” 

“Both of you. Just damn lucky he didn’t have a gun on him out there.” 

Still confused, both men stared at the older hunter. 

“Get your asses in the house and deal with your mess.” 

With a quick glance at each other, they moved up the stairs to the front door. They passed Bobby going through the door and he couldn’t help himself. He wacked both of them on the back of their heads. 

“Ow.” 

“Shit.” 

“I’ve never said a goddamned word to either of you about it. I’m sure as HELL not discussing it with your fucking father!” 

“About what?” 

It had felt like a knife every time they spoke in unison- just like his boys used to. John ran for the shotgun again.   
“About the fact that you aren’t my boys.” 

Stopping short, Dean moved to block Sam as much as he could. “Dad?”

“What the hell are you and where are Sam and Dean?” 

“Talk about turn on a dime.” Sam muttered to his brother before staring at their father. 

“And we’re supposed to believe you’re our father?” The older brother was ready to make a move the first chance he got. 

“Goddammit!” Bobby’s voice echoed in the house and all three stopped. “Winchester, put it down!” Once the gun was on the table, he sighed. “You pull a gun on either of those boys ever again and I won’t just threaten you with one, got it?” 

Before the boys could move, Bobby turned to them. “And you two. No idea, huh?” When they shook their heads, he threw his arms up. “He saw you, you dumbasses! Almost got put down yourselves ‘cause you didn’t know somebody was watching you!” 

It got silent in the house. 

Neither Winchester knew what to say. For a brief moment, Dean was hoping they could turn and walk out the door and play the denial card. 

But John’s voice broke the silence. “What. The. Fuck.” 

“Long story.” Dean sighed. 

“What the absolute fucking hell have you done?” John’s eyes met Sam’s. 

Bobby couldn’t see John’s face, but he saw a sick realization spread over Sam’s. Dean took a breath. “Dad, we’ve figured a few things out-“

“No, Dean. That’s not what he’s asking.” Sam stepped closer to Dean’s back and he could feel the large body trembling. “He’s asking what I’ve done. To you.” 

“What?” 

“Balls.” Bobby whispered. This was a whole new can of worms, Sam and John about to face off again. Only this time they were both a lot deadlier than they had ever been before. 

“Dad?” Dean had no question whose side he’d take this time, but he really didn’t want it to go that way. 

John’s gaze never left Sam’s. “Should have…” 

“Should have what, Dad? Taken care of the problem before? Taken care of ME before?” An idea came to Sam and it made his stomach twist. For a moment he was literally afraid he was going to puke down his brother’s back. Stepping around him, Sam stared into his father’s eyes. “What did you know, Dad? What did you know about me that you dumped your save-me-or-kill-me shit on my brother without telling him?” 

Dean started to interrupt his brother, but John’s quiet voice stopped him. 

“Obviously, I didn’t know enough.” It was breaking his heart. “Never saw this coming.” 

“Okay, that’s enough. Sammy, come on. Scale it back, please?” He knew his brother couldn’t refuse him because he didn’t ask him like this often. 

With a short nod, the taller man leaned back against the wall and made an effort to take a deep breath and calm down. Dean patted the large shoulder but turned. John was the target at the moment. “Dad, whatever Sammy and I are is none of anyone’s business but ours. Nobody’s fault. Nothing bad about it as far as we’re concerned.” 

“You have to know it’s-“

“Don’t say it.” The edge to his voice scared Bobby into moving.

“John, I’m gonna say this once. This is their home as much as it’s mine now. Back from the dead don’t mean you get a pass to be an asshole around here. You’re NOT going to walk in and start laying down the law or passing judgment on them.” Stepping in front of Sam and Dean, he glared at their father. “They’re safe here. They even smile once in a fucking while, and you’re not gonna take it away from them. You either get over your shit or get out.” 

“You’re okay with this?” He felt like he’d come back to another planet. 

“Not going to talk about it. Ever.” With a sigh Bobby opened the fridge and pulled out four beers. Crisis averted for the moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Taking his beer, John stormed up the stairs. When he entered the bedroom Bobby offered him, he took the time for look around for the first time. Double bed and an empty dresser. Sparse. Nothing outside of the furniture. Nothing to show that this was the ‘safe home’ Bobby claimed he shared with his boys. Curious, he wandered around the upstairs, hoping to find a clue to the men his sons had become. Entering the other bedroom, the one he’d assumed Dean would be ‘bunking’ with Sam in while he was there. One look and John knew Dean wasn’t bunking in there with his brother. This was their room. A couple pairs of shoes, obviously one belonging to Dean and one to Sam sat beside the door. A few items of two different size clothing were lying around the room. Two ratty, obviously unused duffels in the corner. Lived in. By two men. This was his sons’ room. As in both of them. And in the middle of it was one of the largest beds John had ever seen. A bed big enough to accommodate two large men. 

All John could do for a few minutes was stand there. What the fuck could he do about it? They were all, Bobby included- which really shocked him- acting like it was perfectly okay. 

** ***********************************  **

The remaining three men in the kitchen let out a collective sigh when John headed upstairs. The brothers turned to Bobby for a moment, trying to get some inclination as to his mood. 

“Two of you…..” Finally, the older hunter sighed and sat down. After a long drink that drained half his bottle, he shrugged. “I figured you’d get the hint I knew.” 

“Yes, sir,” both men answered and the silence grew awkward. 

Finishing his beer, Sam sighed. “Research?”

Bobby shrugged. “I got nothing. But I’ve spent most of my time dodging his questions. Wasn’t going to give him too much info. Just in case.” Standing, he stared at his boys. “Either way I’m not telling a story that ain’t mine to tell.”

“Gonna have to sooner or later.” Sam’s voice was almost a whine.  
  
“I say later.” Moving past his brother, Dean tapped him on the arm. “Got more important things to worry about than rehashing the past six years of our shitty lives.”   


** ************************************  **

  
John finally headed downstairs to find the other three men engrossed in research- Bobby in the books, Sam on his laptop, and Dean thumbing through some files on the sofa. 

Looking up, Bobby decided to try to set a mood. “Feel free to grab a book.” 

John knew all three were gauging his reaction. Was he as interested in finding out what brought him back as they were or not? It grated on him to not be calling the shots, but if he gave Bobby any flack, it could start something with Sam or Dean that he hadn’t decided how to handle yet. “Where are you on it so far?” 

“I’m on my eyes crossing and I’m starving.” Standing, Dean started for the kitchen. “Sammy?” 

“In a minute. Got an idea I want to poke around.” 

“What kind of idea?” 

John’s tone was more of a demand than a question and Dean turned to him sharply. 

“He’ll tell us when he’s got it more pinpointed.” The tone doubled as a warning to not push. 

“Might need to run into town.” 

Dean knew that meant Sam was looking into spells, but he just nodded. One glance at Bobby told him the older hunter was on the same thought he was. 

John caught the shared glances between Bobby and his oldest, but he managed to keep his reaction neutral. With no idea what was going on in Sam’s head, there was no way for him to get a plan of action. And it got under his skin that he was apparently the odd man out with his sons. Even though he knew logically that, for them, he had been gone for six years and God only knew WHAT had happened in that time, for him it still felt like yesterday, and his role had suddenly been totally changed without him having had any say in it. Fidgeting, he turned to the door. “Gonna take a walk.” 

With a sigh, Sam got up and followed Dean into the kitchen. 

It wasn’t twenty minutes later John entered the kitchen, but the scene in front of him stopped him. Dean at the stove, Sam leaning casually against the counter next to him- almost near enough to be touching the length of their bodies- and Bobby sitting at the kitchen table with a beer. 

“Needs salt.” Bobby grumbled. 

“Back off, old man. I know what it needs.” Dean held the spoon up in a mock threatening gesture, but Sam grabbed his arm and shoved the spoon in his own mouth. 

“How about some of that sea salt?”

“It’s healthy.” Bobby and Dean teased the youngest at the same time and they all three laughed. 

With a glare at his brother, Dean grabbed the salt out of the cabinet and dumped some in the pot. 

The casual banter along with the boys obviously knowing their way around Bobby’s kitchen brought it home to John. This was their home. They were comfortable here, and most likely had found a place they could relax. 

“Beer?” 

He realized Sam was holding out a beer in his direction. With a nod he took it and sat at the table with Bobby. A few minutes later, Sam handed out full bowls to everyone and they ate. It wasn’t exactly a relaxed environment, but it wasn’t hostile, either. 

John was desperate to ask the boys questions, but he knew from the way Dean had shot him down earlier regarding Sam’s ideas it wouldn’t be easy to get answers out of them. He hoped in their own time they’d finally tell him what the missing parts of their lives had been. So he’d tried to hide his aggravation and keep the conversation light. 

After dinner, as Bobby washed, Sam dried, and Dean ran commentary, John finished another beer and wandered outside. 

Glancing out the window, Sam turned to the other two men. “Dad’s in the yard.” His eyes met Bobby’s. “What has he said to you about what he remembers?” 

The older man shook his head. “He hasn’t been real talkative.” 

Sam snorted. “’Course not.” 

“Well,” before Dean could reply, Bobby continued. “I wasn’t doing a lot of sharing, either. ‘Side from the two of you were still alive, I wouldn’t tell him anything ‘bout either of you.” 

Realization crossed Sam’s face. “Thank you.” 

“Not my story to tell, son.” The youngest hunter’s eyes met his and Bobby mentally kicked himself for treating the freshly re-ensouled kid so badly that something so small as calling him son brought such a look of grateful relief to his eyes. 

“Gonna have to cross that one.” Dean watched the exchange silently, also grateful to Bobby for moving past his initial anger and mistrust of his brother. 

“Gonna have to hide the weapons first.” With a sigh, Sam opened another beer and sat down. 

“Got that right, Sammy. Daddy’s gonna skin you alive.” Lucifer’s voice whispered in his ear. “Good times.” 

The second the youngest Winchester’s body tensed and his eyes went to side Bobby looked over his shoulder to Dean. 

Responding to the alarm in Bobby’s eyes, Dean sat next to Sam and bumped his shoulder against the trembling body in the chair. “Sammy.” 

“Getting worse.” Taking a deep breath, Sam looked at the other two men and reached out to grip his brother’s wrist. 

“We need to deal with this now and get it over with.” Dean knew the way Sam thought their father was going to react to his actions was a large part of why his hallucinations were getting a stronger hold on him. 

“You’re saying we need to talk?” 

With a wry grin, Dean responded to Sam’s attempt to shake it off. “Gonna have to share and care, Sammy.” But his eyes met Bobby’s in silent understanding. If John even thought of reacting the way Sam was obviously terrified he would, one of them was going to kick his ass. 

Nodding, Bobby let Dean know they were on the same page. 

The youngest took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “Now?” 

“You tell me.” 

“I’d rather wait till morning, if that’s okay.” His emotional state combined with being exhausted from the long drive was letting Lucifer get the upper hand and he wasn’t sure he could deal with it. 

“Done. Let’s grab the bags and head up.” Instinctively, Dean knew they were in for a bad night. 

John was back on the porch when they came out. Sam was looking shaky and Dean had his hand on the taller man’s shoulder. A thought of what that innocent looking touch would turn into the second they were upstairs grated on John. But he knew if he said a word about it, there would be hell to pay with all three men. 

As they grabbed their bags and headed back inside, they both turned to their father. 

“Gonna turn in. Long day.” Dean’s tone was neutral. 

“Thought we were gonna catch up.” John tried to sound the same, but his tone had an edge to it. 

“It can wait till tomorrow.” Nudging his brother, Dean headed inside before John could try to stop them. The last thing he wanted was for their father to see one of Sam’s episodes right now. 

Hearing the boys head upstairs, Bobby went to the door. 

“You look like a man that could use a drink.” 

“Let my guess; you’re buying as long as the conversation doesn’t include my sons.” 

With a shrug, Bobby headed for the cabinet where they stored the whiskey. “And people said you were thickheaded.” 

As much as he hated to give up on finding out what the hell had happened while he was gone, he had a feeling he was going to need Bobby as an ally when it came to the boys.  


** ***************************************  **

The house was silent. Bobby and John had stayed up an hour or so after the boys and put away a fair amount of liquor. The scream echoed through the house and sent John instantly to his feet and alert. The screams increased in volume and a crash made him run towards the sound. Without a second thought, he shoved the bedroom door open and stopped short. 

Sam was on the floor, curled up onto a ball, screaming. The older Winchester was sitting a couple feet away, begging him to come back. 

With no idea what the hell was going on, he understood Sam was in trouble. Even as he stepped into the room, Dean held his hand up to stop him without turning to him. 

“Stay back.” 

Before John could say a word, his oldest turned back. “Sammy, come on, kiddo. Snap out of it. I know you can. Come on; I’m right here.” Moving a little closer, he seemed to know that his brother was calming, even if it didn’t seem that way to John. Speechless, he watched Dean move closer, continuing to talk to Sam in a soft voice. 

“Dad, go downstairs. Anyone else just makes him worse.” 

Realizing he was being dismissed, it was on the tip of his tongue to argue, but he realized Dean knew exactly what was going on and how to handle it, even if he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. 

“Come on, kiddo. Just me. Just you and me, okay?” 

As the oldest Winchester finally backed out of the doorway, he saw Dean reach out slowly and touch his brother’s hand. “That’s it. Just me. We’re alone in here; you know that. Nobody else.” 

Forcing himself to move away, John headed downstairs, not entirely surprised to see Bobby standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking almost as wrecked as Dean had. 

“What’s wrong with him?” 

“Nightmares.” Bobby’s tone was neutral. 

Shaking his head, John headed for the fridge for a beer. “He’s always had nightmares. Nothing like that.” 

“You saw?” 

Turning, John leveled an incredulous stare at his friend. “My youngest is screaming like something is tearing him apart and my oldest is about to fall apart trying to get him to snap out of it. Of COURSE I went to see what was wrong!” 

“Sorry. ‘Course you did. I just….. I fucking hate to hear it. Worse to see it, I know.” Sitting down, he tried to block out the screams that were still carrying down the stairs. “Dean’ll get him back. He’ll always come back to him.” 

“From what?” 

For a moment, Bobby stared silently at John. “I can’t, John. Those boys trust me and I’m not going to betray that. Means too much to me.” He stared at his clasped hands on the table and shook his head. “I’m to goddamn tired for this.” 

Finally the screams stopped. Grabbing two bottles of water out of the fridge, Bobby headed for the stairs. John followed him from a short distance. Going up the stairs, Bobby went to the open door and hesitated. They were still on the floor, but Sam had his head in Dean’s lap and he was quiet. When he caught Dean’s eyes, he nodded and put the bottles down in the doorway before he backed away. He wasn’t surprised to see John standing a few feet away. “Come on. He’s back. They need quiet.” 

Nodding, John followed Bobby back downstairs. It was taking everything he had to not run back upstairs and check on his sons. 

“I know, John. You want to run back up there.” He took a drink straight from the bottle and handed it to John. “Tried it a couple times. Got my nose busted once, and set him off worse both times.” 

“But what is it? What happened to him?” Slamming the bottle on the table John sighed. “I know, you can’t tell me. How often does Dean have to handle this?” 

“Enough he knows the routine. It sucks- not fair to either of them, but the only way they’re gonna get through it is together.” 

“Together.” 

His tone annoyed Bobby. “I’ve had too much to drink and I’m too damn tired. So I’m gonna tell you this. Those boys have had heaven and hell on their asses. The first thing anything with half a brain does is try to split ‘em up to beat them.” Taking another drink, he stared at John. “So if heaven and hell couldn’t tear them apart, don’t make the mistake of thinking you can.” 

With even more questions now, John started to speak. 

“Goin’ to bed. Long fucking night.” He got to the door. “I’d give ‘em another twenty before you go back up. It’ll be quiet tomorrow. They’ll both be exhausted and quiet most of the day. Least I hope so.” With that he was gone. 

For another nineteen minutes, John listened to the quiet. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he climbed the stairs.  
Unable to help himself, he moved to the boys’ bedroom door. It was dark except for the small light on the nightstand. He could barely make out their shapes. Dean was propped on a few pillows against the headboard, his arms holding Sam against his chest. John opened his mouth to speak, but Dean saw him and shook his head. Taking Dean's lead, John headed back to bed.

  
** **************************************** **  


  
Dean hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep at first. He could still feel the heat from Sam's body where he was wrapped around him. But suddenly the room was too bright- it happened so fast it was like daylight before he could react. Even as he tried to move his brother, a familiar voice stopped him.

"Good to see you, Dean."

He knew who it was before they appeared. "Gabriel."

"In the flesh, so to speak." With a shrug the archangel moved around the room and stood to face him. "Going to have to be fast. Using this kind of juice will attract too much attention. Need to talk to you and baby bro here."

"So talk."

"Not like this." Gabriel shook his head. "And I'm not about to get into his head. Don't want to scare him. Just scrape up one of those sigils on the door, and I'll be there." 

"For what?" 

"We have a common problem, Leviathans, a common goal, save Castiel, and we can help each other."

"How about I meet you somewhere?" Dean didn't want to bring any archangel near his brother.

"No can do, bucko. Need to close the gate as soon as I'm through it. Stop me from being followed." He could see the hesitation in the hunter's eyes. "Look, I'll give it till the big guy has a chance to get it as together as he gets these days. But we have to talk."

His eyes snapped open and Dean started to sit up. But his brother gripped him tighter and he stopped. Running his hand through that long hair, he thought about what he'd seen. Gabriel was dead. But so had all of them been before. Was he back, and did he really want to save Cas? The fact he hadn't invaded Sam's head to avoid hurting him gave a point. Dean knew he could debate it for days, but he was going to meet the archangel.


	4. Chapter 4

It was almost 4 when John found Sam in the kitchen. "Thought you'd gone with Dean."

"Nah." Sam shook his head. "Beer and car parts- not my idea of a good time." 

With a laugh, John opened a bag of chips and offered it to his son. "Car parts never did get your attention." 

Shrugging, Sam took a few chips and went for a bottle of water in the fridge. "Necessary, but not my idea of fun." 

"At least one thing hasn't changed." His son's confused stare made him shake his head. "Not a bad thing, Sammy." It bothered him that Sam cringed at the nickname. "You've changed so much, it's nice to see some sign of the son I remembered."

Still uncomfortable, Sam searched for something to say. The son John remembered was always ready for a fight, but he'd still been a good guy. Hadn't made- or couldn't imagine making- the choices he'd made. He didn't want to talk about that, either. The phone ringing gave Sam the chance to escape and he took it. Even as Sam went over the details of a hunt with someone who needed help, John came out of the kitchen and stopped.

"Someone pulled in." 

Getting off the phone, Sam grabbed his gun and ran for the door. When he saw who was climbing the stairs, he smiled. "It's fine, Dad." Tucking his gun in the back of his jeans, he opened the door.

The smiling woman at the door handed him one of the bags she was holding and hugged him with the now free arm. "Ran into Dean in town. Had to change my dinner plans."

When they turned to go in the kitchen, John was standing in the middle of the room. Jody turned to Sam. "Customer of Bobby's?"

"No. Hunter, actually. Jody Mills," Sam took a breath. "John Winchester."

Even as she shook his hand she looked at Sam. "Winchester?"

"He's our father."

Glancing at both men, she finally had to ask. "I thought you said he was...." The unspoken word ‘dead’ hung in the air. 

"We did. He was." 

The room was quiet for a moment. Jody finally shrugged. "You guys have a strange family tradition." 

Both men gave a surprised laugh. But John picked up on the fact that at least one of his sons had also returned from the dead. It was something. A clue to who his boys were now. 

"Guess we do." Still laughing, Sam led her to the kitchen. 

Following him, Jody wrapped her arm around his back, then stopped. John knew what she'd felt before she said it. He tensed, waiting for the officer’s reaction to the gun tucked against his son’s back. 

"Carrying in the house now?" 

"Sorry." Putting the bag on the counter, Sam pulled the gun out and laid it on top of the fridge. "Dad said there was somebody here and-" He stopped. "Lasagna?"

"What else?" Jody smiled. "Grab the pans."

"Wait till you taste this, Dad. Her lasagna is awesome." 

Once again, John was left watching his son and someone else act like they were family. Jody had a familiarity with Sam that John had never seen him share with a woman before. Sam's voice interrupted his thoughts. 

"So Jody, when are you going to marry Bobby?"

Choking, Jody slapped the taller man's arm. "Bite your tongue. We're fine just the way things are. We see enough of each other to enjoy each other and not so much one of us has to call you to help hide a body."

Laughing, Sam shook his head. "Salt and burn- never hide."

"I'll have to remember that." 

With an ease that comes with familiarity, the two of them worked together until it was in the oven. Just as Jody realized they were out of beer, the sound of the Impala approaching made her smile. 

John had to admit Sam was right. Jody's lasagna was amazing. Dinner was actually nice, the five of them talking about some of the generic current events John had missed. 

No one noticed how quiet Dean was. All he could think about was the dream about Gabriel. Could the angel really be alive and what could he want with them if he was?

After dinner John found himself sitting on the porch alone with a beer. 

"If you want pie, you better get in there before Dean gets to it." Jody's voice startled him. 

"Nah, let him have it." John laughed. 

Sitting next to him, the sheriff sighed. "Heard just enough about you to make me curious."

"Hopefully not all of it bad."

"I know they've both missed you, if that's what you're worried about."

Later John would put it down to how tired he was, but he couldn't stop himself. "Barely recognize them when I look at them." He turned to the woman who knew both of his sons so much better than he did. "Not sure where I fit in here."

"Why would you say that? You're still their father, John. But you have to give it time."

He appreciated Jody's effort, but he felt like such an outsider in their makeshift family he had no idea how to change things. 

It must have been obvious, because she smiled. "They're good men, John. You should be proud of them. Maybe start with that."

"Maybe you're right." 

Taking that for agreement, Jody stood. "Gonna head back inside before-" 

The door opened and Sam crashed through it with Dean on his heels. "Get back here, goddammit!"

With a laugh, Sam held the plate over his head. "Snooze you lose, asshole!"

John realized Sam was running with a piece of pie in his hands. 

"You think you're gonna run off with the last piece, I'm gonna-"

"Boys!" Johns voice stopped both of them. When surprised faces turned to him, he approached them. "What did I teach you about food?" 

While both of them were distracted, he made his move. Reaching out, he grabbed the pie off the plate and shoved it in his mouth.

Jody was the first to react. Laughing, she turned to go back inside. "Not even getting in the middle of this."

After she left, John wiped his mouth and stared at his boys. The expressions on their faces made him laugh. For the first time since he'd been back he saw his boys in front of him. 

"That was...." Dean was at a loss for words. 

"Hilarious." Sam was over it and laughing himself. For a moment they shared a smile, and the irony of it wasn't lost on the oldest Winchester. They'd shared way too few moments like this before. It was like something shifted between them. John hoped it was a good sign. 

The younger hunters stared at each other silently for a moment, as if debating something. Finally Dean leaned against the railing. "Guess it’s time. What do you remember, Dad?"

John knew this was coming. He'd been trying to think back for days now. But his memory always stopped at the same place. "Last thing I remember was you finally taking out that yellow-eyed son of a bitch."

Another shared glance between them. 

"Squeeged?" Dean’s question was more of a statement. 

Sam shrugged. "Must have. They love to do that shit." He turned to John. "Whatever brought you back didn't want you to remember. Dean killed Azazel over four years ago."

"Azazel?" John couldn't stop himself. 

"Yeah, that's-"

"I know who that is." John's tone grew challenging towards his youngest. "I want to know when you got on first name basis with demons."

"What does that mean?" Sam responded to the tone and his voice raised. "What the hell, Dad?"

Desperate to avoid something bad for either of them, Dean wrapped his hand around his brother's bicep. "Sammy, come on. Step back, please?"

"You...." The look that took Dean a few seconds to place was betrayal on his brother's face. 

"No, it's not like that." Pulling the taller man closer, Dean spoke quietly to him. "I need you to keep it together. Please? You know... You know, Sammy."

He did. He really did. Dean was worried about him. Nodding, Sam took a deep breath and tried to relax. 

Hazel eyes started to shift to the left, but Dean grabbed his face gently. "No, don't. Eyes here, got it? Look at me." 

It worked. With one more deep breath, Sam nodded. "I'm okay."

John stared at them with so many emotions he couldn't begin to understand. Everything Bobby and Jody had said, and what Bobby WOULDNT say went through his mind. Even the intense scene in front of him seemed to take on a new meaning and he turned away. 

"Dad, if we're going to find out what's going on, we need to get the facts on the table."

"All of them." Sam squared his shoulders and faced his father. "The one thing Dean and I have learned is that ‘need to know’ is bullshit. Every single time we don't tell each other something it comes back to bite us in the ass."

Nodding, John looked from one man to the other. "Told you. I remember seeing that-Azazel- get what was coming to him. That's it." 

"So if they didn't want him to remember, odds are they'll show themselves."

Agreeing with his brother, Dean shrugged. "With no idea what, I guess we just load up and watch." He knew he'd have to tell Sam about opening a door for Gabriel, but he wasn't ready to discuss it in front of John just yet.

John came to a decision. "Look, you two don't have any more idea than I do. There are some things I need to check on."

"What?" Deans voice rose. "What the hell could have been out there for the last 5 years that has to be taken care of??"

"Dean," Sam’s voice was quiet. "He wants to go to Minnesota."

It hit Dean like cold water. Adam.

Startled, John looked at Sam. "You-"

"Yeah, Dad. One of those bite-us-in-the-ass lessons." But his words weren't said with anger. No matter how it happened, Adam was their father's son as well. "Not...." 

"Tell him, Sammy. Forgot all about him, didn't you?" Of course his subconscious would speak up now- the thought of telling his father what had happened to Adam..... Lucifer was absolutely gleeful about the pending revelation. "Defiled his oldest; locked his youngest away with me and my brother forever. Yep. I smell a beat-down coming. Sammy's gonna get it." 

"Shit." Dean grabbed Sam and sat him on the hood of a nearby junker. Turning back to John, he sighed. "I don't know how else to say this. We found out about Adam a couple years ago-"

"You meet him?" His three sons meeting had been both a dream and a fear for John. 

"Yeah. Well, not...." Deep breath. "He's gone, Dad."

There was no air. John couldn't force air in. Adam was dead? 

Seeing the color drain from his father’s face, Dean licked his lips and tried to control his own emotions. "I'm sorry, Dad. I am. He was a good kid who got a shitty hand. Ghouls got him before we ever met him."

"Ghouls?" John remembered that hunt. 

"Yeah. It was about revenge, Dad. They got Adam, his mother, and tried to get you. But they got us. We took care of it, but... He...." Dean shook his head.

"Still there." Sam's voice was a whisper. "He's still there, Dean" 

"We're not talking about it, Sammy."

"About what?" This was about Adam and John wanted to know.

Keeping his hand on his brother’s neck, he spoke more to his now trembling brother than John. "It's over, Dad. I had to make a choice, and I made it. I chose Sammy. Dad, I always choose him and I always will. I'm sorry Adam's... But I'm NOT sorry I got him back." Emotion closed his throat and he shook his head. 

"A choice?" John was speechless. "Got him back? Goddammit, Dean, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Not now, Dad."

"Maybe it's time, Dean."

Their father’s tone had cut through Sam and he was done with it. Whatever issue his father had with him, fine. Not Dean. Never Dean. "It was me. It was always me."

"Sam, don't. We both did the best we could." 

"It was! Dad knew it! Didn't you, Dad. I really want to know. What did you know about me?” he had to drown out the voice of the devil in his head describing what John was going to do with him. 

“Dean's right. It doesn’t matter now.” 

Dean knew that was going to set him off even before Sam stood back up and started to pace. 

“Of course it matters! You knew what was coming for me and didn’t tell us? Your orders to Dean- Save me or kill me- but no fucking clue what he was fighting!" 

Shell-shocked from the news about Adam, John reacted to Sam’s anger. “Because I knew if I told you about Azazel, you’d go after him!”

Dean knew what was coming, the way his little brother’s entire body went taut told him. But in his grief and anger John didn’t notice. 

His voice rose as he continued to lash out. “You always had to be right, and if I told you to stay away from it, you’d run right into it. Christ, Sam, if I’d told you he wanted you for some demon army, you would have fucking unleashed Lucifer trying to prove I was wrong!” 

Sam’s eyes shot to the left just before he fell to the ground. Gripping the larger man, Dean managed to soften the fall, but not stop it completely. Knowing what his brother was seeing, he dropped to his knees and began to call him back.   
Before Dean could stop him, John was on the other side of Sam, reaching out for his youngest. In the instant it took Dean to register the movement, the youngest Winchester lashed out. With a scream, his fist connected with John’s face and he fell backwards. 

“Stay back!” Dean barked the order, but then cursed himself when Sam curled in on himself and began to tremble. “Sam, come on, man. You need to snap out of it.” 

John had seen a lot of things that will haunt him for the rest of his existence, but none of them compared to the look of terror on his youngest’s face at that moment. Whatever was going on, it looked to him like it was killing his boy. 

“We have to do something-“

“You’ve done enough!” was the hissed reply. “Just back off. You’re making him worse.” 

Remembering Bobby’s words from last night, the oldest Winchester sighed. It wasn’t like he’d ever really been able to help Sam with anything. He hated feeling so helpless when something was hurting the boy so badly, but he realized Dean was still the only one Sam would respond to. 

Sam’s eyes were tracking in different directions as if they were surrounded. Squashing the instinct to actually look around himself, Dean slid close enough to almost be touching and sighed. 

“Daddy knows what you did. He knows you set me free, Sammy. Know what he’s gonna do to you now?” Lucifer grinned at Sam. Leaning so close the man could smell the sulfur from Hell, he whispered. “He’s gonna make damn sure you can’t get out again. You’re dangerous, and he knows it.” Taking a finger, the Devil traced down the front of Sam’s chest, igniting it with blistering pain. With a laugh, he watched the body in front of him arch and pulled back for a moment, just long enough for Sam to take in a breath. Then he plunged his fist into the Winchester’s chest, reaching for the still beating heart. 

It wouldn’t kill him. It never did. Just fill his body with agony and terror. Opening eyes he hadn’t meant to close, he saw the face of his father, ready to join in on the torture. It was too much. Desperation took over and he lashed out, knowing he had no hope of escaping, but unable to stop himself. His fist connecting would only enrage Lucifer, but taking the shape of his father to torture him was almost as bad as using Dean. 

Dean was terrified- not that his brother couldn't handle their father- he always could- and Dean had to admit he agreed with his brother. John owed them more than a few answers. But the toll it was taking on Sam wasn't worth it.   
“Sammy, come on, man. Just look at me.” Watching his brother’s arms, he gently reached out and brushed the hair away from his forehead. “You’re out. It’s not real. I got you back, little brother.” 

By the time the youngest Winchester started breathing normally again, Bobby and Jody were on the porch. John moved towards them, his mind still on Adam. His youngest. The one he’d tried to hide to protect. It found him anyway and he’d died screaming. That much he was sure of. Then there was the mystery of Dean choosing Sam and being sorry for Adam. What the hell was all that about? And what was happening to Sam?   
John was so lost in thought he’d missed Dean pulling Sam to his feet. 

“Let’s get you upstairs-“ 

Waving him off, Sam sat on the porch steps. “Give me a minute.” 

Dean knew his brother wanted to finish this conversation, and he hated it. Before he could even ask, Jody was handing him two bottles of water. Nodding his thanks, he handed one to Sam and sat beside him. He really wanted to take Sam upstairs and try to help him keep it together, but he knew his stubborn little brother would fight him. 

Before anyone else could make a comment, Sam’s phone rang. Since the only people who would call him these days were standing next to him, he stared at the phone for a second before answering it. 

“What.” His voice snapped. 

Dean couldn’t hear who was on the other end, but Sam’s eyes met his and he knew it wasn’t good. 

“Why should I do that?” 

“And that’s because we’re BFF’s or some shit?” He sighed. “Fine. Give me five.” Hanging up, he turned to Dean.  
“Crowley.”


	5. Chapter 5

“What does that son of a bitch want?”

“He’s at the gate. Wants to have a ‘chat’.” Sam used air quotes. “About a certain Purgatory escapee that’s a Dick.”

“I’ll go talk to him.” Dean almost growled, but Sam reached out and gripped his arm. “Not by yourself. We might have a common enemy, but that doesn’t mean we meet alone.”

“Sam,” He knew what these episodes took out of his brother.

“I’m not up to it. To be honest, I feel like shit. You’re still not going to meet with him alone.”

“Go get him.” Bobby interrupted before it could become an argument. “Won’t break the trap at the house. But get him here, within holy water distance.”

Nodding, Dean stood. “Dad, we need you to go inside.”

“What?” The thought that Dean didn’t believe he could handle whatever was going on pissed him off.

“I don’t want to broadcast to whoever might not know that you’re back.”

“You, too, Jody.” Bobby shook his head. “If he wasn’t already out there I’d send you home.”

It rankled a bit that Bobby would dismiss her like that, but she knew the root of it was protecting her, so she didn’t argue. “Where do you want me.”

“Panic room, if you really want to know.” Bobby shrugged. “Safest room in the house.”

“Fine! But I want the blow by when he’s gone.” With that, Jody went back inside.

“I’m not hiding.” The oldest Winchester’s voice was tense, and left no question where the stubbornness both boys showed came from.

“I’m not asking you to hide, Dad. I’m asking you to help us keep the number of people who know you’re back as low as possible. We don’t need it broadcasted that another Winchester is back from the dead.”

“Another?”

Dean cursed his own slip, but he knew better than to try to backtrack now. “Yeah, Dad. Another. And we don’t have what you’d call a fan club.”

A loud almost bark of laughter interrupted him and Sam stood. “Understatement. Believe it or not, Dad, we’re even less popular than you were.”

“Nice to know I set the bar on something.” John muttered, but he kept his eyes on his oldest. “I’ll go inside, but I’m staying where I can hear you.”

“Fine. Just stay out of sight.” Dean’s eyes met Sam’s as they headed towards the gate.

“Being on a first name basis with the fucking King of Hell is gonna go over great.”

Dean almost smiled. “Might need him to protect us from Dad before this is over. I feel an  
ass -kicking coming.”

“Not you.”

The sharpness of his brother’s tone made Dean stop. “I’m kidding, Sam.” Out of everyone’s sight, he reached up and gripped the back of the taller man’s neck. “I fucking hate what this is doing to you.”

“I know. Not a fucking parade from this side, either, Dean. But I’m sor-“

“Don’t say that word.” Tugging Sam’s head so their eyes could meet, he shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry about, Sammy. I just want you to be okay.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know.” He released his brother. “Let’s go find out what he wants.”

When they reached the gate, Crowley was standing just outside the salted iron rods they had buried around Bobby’s property as part of a large devil’s trap.

“Nice of you to finally show.”

“Sorry you didn’t hold your breath.” Dean growled at the demon.

“What do you want, Crowley?”

“Straight to the point, Moose. Always liked that about you.” He gestured to the gate. “Be a good host now and open up.”

With his boot, Sam pushed the dirt back enough to lift a small section of the buried rods while Dean unlocked the gate.

Even as he passed by, Crowley shook his head. “No locking me in, Moose. I don’t play well in cages.”

The word ‘cage’ set Dean’s nerves even more on edge, but it appeared Crowley wasn’t pushing that button. Instead the demon was suddenly between them with a hand on either shoulder, and in the next instant they were standing at the bottom of the steps to the porch.

“Dammit, Crowley!” Sam stumbled.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean stepped away and reached out to steady his brother.

“I don’t like to walk.” Crowley’s tone was matter of fact. “Oh, Bobby! Nice to see you again. Wouldn’t have a bit of Cray this time, would you?”

“Oh, sure. I live to play host to your shitty taste.” The sarcasm made the demon laugh.

“Well, whatever rotgut you’ve got sitting in there, let’s have a shot.” Turning to the house, he raised his voice. “Oh, John, would you be a nice house guest and bring the bottle?”

The three hunters stared at each other silently, but they couldn’t hide their surprise.

Now the King of Hell laughed. “Come on. You really think something that big could go down and I wouldn’t get wind of it? John Winchester back from the dead? That kind of power is a fucking beacon to anything else that has that kind of power.”

“You saying you have the mojo to bring me back from the dead?” John joined the conversation.

“I see where they got their brains. Of course I do- comes in the job description.”

“What job is that?” John’s tone was sharp, demanding to know what the hell was going on.

With a surprised look, Crowley turned back to the younger Winchesters.

“Squeeged his memory.” Dean watched the demon carefully for any hint he knew anything.

“Well, that solves that mystery.” Crowley shrugged. “Angels. Turned out to be a bloody pain in my ass lately.”

“And we’re supposed to believe that because….?” Sam’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Anyone here NOT remember Hell?” When none of the Winchesters answered, Crowley turned to John specifically.   
He was staring at his sons, trying desperately to avoid the thoughts he was having about Sam, Dean, and hell. When he finally realized the demon was staring at him, he clung to the hope that he was the only Winchester who had done a tour downstairs. “Yeah. But not clear. Like it was-“

“Thousand years ago, give or take, right? Heaven moves that way. But see, since I’m surrounded by… idjits”- his impersonation of Bobby’s accent would have been funny anywhere else- “I’ll go slow. Demons don’t erase memories. Don’t care. Want you to remember hell. Angels? They think heaven is this big fucking secret. Can’t let anyone remember it.” He shrugged. “Unless there’s something in it for them.” 

“Still haven’t told me who the hell you are that you know so much for someone that had nothing to do with it.” John didn’t believe in angels and knew bullshit when he heard it.

“My enemies call me the king, my subjects call me sir, but you can call me Crowley.” 

“King? Of what?” He was still trying to put it all together.

“Hell.” All four of them answered at once.

“You’re the King…..” Shaking his head, John backed up the stairs, trying to remember where a weapon was close by. “Hell? You’re a goddamned demon?”

“Watch the language around me.” Crowley smiled. “Doesn’t hurt- just pisses me off.”

“Dad,” Dean knew exactly what his father was thinking. “Stop. We’re going to find out what he wants and then he’s leaving. Right?”

“I want to know where you are in the Leviathan plotline.”

“Not far. We’ve been busy.”

“Not far. We’ve been busy.” Crowley mocked Dean but he turned to Sam. “Busy being crazy? Wouldn’t let me kill you, but he sure did a number almost as bad himself, didn’t he, Moose?”

“What?” The taller man stared at the demon. He wasn’t sure how long he could hide how bad he really felt from everyone. Except Dean. The older man standing so close they were almost touching told him that his brother knew how badly he felt and wasn’t going to let him get more than a few feet away.

“Oh, yeah. He was all hand’s off, don’t you touch a hair on their heads. But when push came to shove he buggered both of us.”

The fact that Cas had treated Sam no better than Crowley to get what he wanted infuriated Dean. And cut him so deeply he knew he’d never forgive the angel, no matter what he’d done for them.

“I’m fine.” Sam stared at Crowley. “But you sound like you got your feelings hurt.”

“I don’t have feelings, Moose. That whole handwringing ‘woe is me, he lied to me’ is your routine. I just never forget a double-cross. And I make them pay.”

“That makes two of us.” Dean stepped between the demon and his brother. “I don’t know where he is, or what happened to him when that Leviathan took over, so if that’s why you’re here, you’re shit out of luck.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it, Squirrel. I make my own luck. Which brings me back to why I’m here. See, I have no more love for those black puddles than you do. So if ridding the world of them is all of our priorities-“

“We’re back to the enemy of my enemy is my friend, Crowley?” Sam got it. “You want us to do your dirty work again.”

“Don’t give a bloody fig who does it. Just need to know what needs to be done.” Almost shrugging, Crowley made a show of dusting off a chair before he sat in it. “And I know just who has the answer.”

With a sigh, Dean had to ask. “Who?”

“Dear old Daddy, here.”

His answer shocked all of them.

“How the hell would I know how to rid the world of some black puddle? And what the fuck makes you think I’d help you?” Finally having what John thought was a safe target, he stepped closer to the smug bastard in his friend’s chair.  
“Been out of the game six years, come back to find out the world’s apparently gone to shit.” There was no stopping John now. Everything since he’d seen Sam and Dean hit him and he let go. “One of my sons is dead, and the other two?” He glanced at the speechless brothers. “Don’t know who the fuck they are. Christ knows I didn’t teach them to be friends with demons.”

“Dad.” Both boys tried to stop it. But John was past the point of being able to stop, and he advanced on the boys.

““That’s a demon, Sam! A demon YOU brought to Bobby’s door! Like you forgot everything I ever taught you! Did you both forget that bastard killed your mother? Jessica?”

“Don’t you dare!” Using Jessica against him was too much and Sam lost it. “You haven’t been here. You have no fucking clue what we’ve been through.” Dean moved closer, but the taller man waved him off. “No, that’s not right. You had a fucking clue what we were gonna go through, but you decided we didn’t need to know.” 

Crowley was watching them like they were the main event at a double feature, and Lucifer was sitting off to the side detailing how Brady killed Jessica like Sam hadn’t heard it all before. Like Sam hadn’t been forced to watch it over and over again in the cage.

From the look on his face, Dean knew how close Sam was to completely losing it and he stepped closer again. But John spoke first.

“I was trying to protect you!”

“Like you protected Adam?” It was a low blow, and Sam knew it as soon as the words left his mouth, but before he could begin to apologize, his father’s fist crossed his face and he went down.

Breaking free of his shock, Dean shoved John away from the fallen Winchester. He knew how far over the line they’d both been with their verbal attacks, but the only thing he cared about at the moment was how this was affecting his brother.

When John started to shove Dean out of the way, he hit an invisible wall. Crowley turned to Bobby and shrugged. “Anger management issues seem to run rampant in the family.” When John continued to struggle, he used his power to drag him away from the brothers. “Let’s skip to the end of this, shall we? You threw darling Jessica in Moose’s face, the Moose shouts back about poor departed Adam, and both of you beat each other senseless. Then I step in and save the day before anger boy manages to kill you before he remembers that you’re real.”

Even though he’d never admit it, Dean was grateful for the interference. But one look at Sam’s face and he knew it was going to be a while before he got him back this time. His heart actually felt like it was about to stop when the thought crossed his mind that this might be it- the one that took his brother away from him.

“It’s over now, Sammy.” Lucifer was all smiles and he clapped his hands. “Daddy’s gonna kill you. He knows; he knows everything now. He knows what his son really is. You think he always knew? I think he might have. You think he might have kept good old Adam a secret because he was afraid of what YOU were going to do to him? I mean, you did drag him into the pit with us.”

“No no no no no no” Shaking his head, Sam tried to deny it. But it had been in his thoughts, and Lucifer had picked them out as easily as he’d picked the meat from Sam’s bones for over a century. Trembling, he tried to back away from the fallen angel but something was blocking him. “You don’t know! You don’t know shit!” He closed his eyes, but the cold settled into his body and he just knew the next thing would be the hooks. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring at his father.

“I know shit, boy. I know none of my boys were safe with you from the moment you were born. I tracked those sons of bitches when they followed you. I knew all about Azazel’s gang, Sammy. Kept hoping to draw him out so I could finish him off once and for all. You think it was all one big coincidence?” Leaning closer, John gripped Sam’s jaw and squeezed until Sam was sure his face was about to shatter. “I disappeared and a few days later poor Jessica was nailed to the ceiling? I tracked that motherfucker. I tracked him all the way to Palo Alto, and I knew he was just gearing up to come for you.” John laughed and used his free hand to grip Sam’s shirt and pull him closer. “Didn’t count on Dean getting in the way. Thought he was over you by then. ‘Course I didn’t know you’d had him bent over speared on your dick then.”

“I didn’t!” Unable to gain any control, Sam screamed.

“But you wanted it.” The hand on his face released him long enough to punch him and grab him again. “Fucking half-breed demon bastard. Had to destroy my sons. Sent one to Hell and the other – he’d do anything for you, but you knew that. Even roll over and do all kinds of wrong if you convinced him that was what you needed.”

If Sam had managed to put two coherent thoughts together, he would have known it wasn’t real. But he could feel the cold and the biting pain from the hands holding him. And the voice in his head was throwing out every fear and self-deprecating thought he’d ever had, just like the real Lucifer had done in the cage.

“John” pulled him closer, so close Sam could smell the sulfur. “Guess you just can’t help yourself. Guess you can’t change what you are. But you sure as hell can share.”

As soon as what Sam thought was his father flipped him over and threw him down, he knew what was coming. It had already happened so many times he’d lost count, but he still wasn’t ready.

For as much as Dean didn’t want John, and now especially Crowley, to see his brother like this, at the moment he didn’t give a shit who saw what. All he wanted was for Sam to snap out of it and come back to him. He tried holding the younger man, but all it did was make him struggle harder to escape. So he pulled his hand back and sat next to him, hoping for some sign that his brother would respond to him.

Bobby shook his head slowly. This was, by far, the worst episode he’d ever seen. The soft cries and pleading that he now knew was in Enochian broke his heart. He knew the stress of John’s resurrection had pushed Sam to the breaking point, but he had no idea what to do about it. Dean’s eyes met his and they both realized how helpless the other felt. It had only been about two minutes, but to both men it had felt like hours.

John still felt the invisible wall, but he was no longer fighting against it. Instead he was watching his youngest son appear to have a massive seizure. Guilt flooded him as he realized he was the cause of this. He could tell from Bobby and Dean’s reaction that this was bad. Turning, he ran his hands through his hair and sighed. His baby was suffering, apparently had been for some time, and he’d stuck a knife in out of anger. He would have killed anyone who used Mary like that against him. And, if the ‘King of Hell’ was to be believed, Sam was more than capable of it. So yes, the Adam comment had struck an already strung-out nerve, but he’d definitely thrown the first punch in that battle.  
None of them were prepared for the scream. It was high-pitched, bloodcurdling, and none of them had ever heard anything resembling it from Sam’s mouth before. To Dean, it seemed to go on forever, a reminder that would echo in his head until the day he died of what his little brother had gone through in the cage. The taller man’s body snapped straight so hard Dean was sure at least one bone broke.

With a quick glance at John, the demon released him. He stumbled, but remained on his feet and moved closer to his boys. Bobby shook his head and the older hunters watched the brothers.

“I can see he’s fine.” Crowley’s voice was quiet, but it startled Bobby and John as if they’d forgotten he was there. “We’re going to talk, John-boy, and soon. But since we’re gonna need them-“ he pointed to Sam and Dean- “It’s going to have to wait.” With a wave of the demon’s hand, Sam immediately went limp.

“He’ll sleep it off.” Crowley’s voice was unnaturally quiet in Dean’s ear. “From here it looks like we have two common enemies. Not a secret what you do to anything that touches baby brother.”

Dean nodded once.

“I’ll be in touch.”

“Wait.” Turning to the King of Hell, all three of them could see the sheer desperation in the younger Winchester’s eyes. “Can you help him?”

“No.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Bobby voiced the question.

“Can’t.” Crowley couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t think I’d love to have the Winchesters owe me a big one? But when your turncoat in the trench coat blew through his mind, he literally blew through it.”

“He’ll get better.” Dean was adamant.

“Seen Winchesters do the impossible before. I hope he does.” When three faces echoed doubt at his statement, the demon shrugged. “I want those bastards shoved back where they came from. And I think we can all agree from experience that one of you isn’t worth a shit without the other.” With a nod to the unconscious hunter, Crowley sighed. “Call me when Gigantor is upright again.”

After he vanished, the two older men moved quickly to the boys. It took all three of them to lift Sam and move him to the sofa inside. Bobby went to fix the trap at the gate while John went downstairs to get Jody. Dean sat on the coffee table and stared at his brother. Whatever Crowley had done, it seemed to work. Sam was sleeping peacefully. Under any other circumstance, Dean would be furious that he owed the demon anything. But at that moment, he would do anything Crowley wanted to give his brother a good night’s sleep.

The other three people came back into the room, but Dean didn’t notice. The sole focus of his attention was lying on the sofa, oblivious to his scrutiny. Jody gestured for the older two men to follow her to the kitchen. Handing out beers, she joined them at the table.

“Gonna fill me in? What happened to him?”

“Bad one.” Bobby answered quietly. “Crowley snapped him out of it.”

“Crowley?” Jody looked skeptical. “What does he want?”

“Seems the Leviathans are a pain in his ass, too. Wants to compare notes on them with John.” Eyes turned to the oldest Winchester. “Why is that?”

“How the fuck should I know?” John took half his beer at once.

“Crowley seemed pretty sure you had an idea or two.”

“Did demons suddenly become trustworthy while I was dead, Bobby? No. They lie. And this one is no different.” Before Bobby could reply, John gestured to the living room. “I want to know what is happening to Sam. He’s my son, Bobby. And something is hurting him. Something that even the King of Hell can’t fix, if you can believe that. What. Is. It?”

Knowing that once John calmed down and thought about the conversation again, he’d figure it out on his own, Bobby sighed. Finishing his beer, he retrieved another before taking a deep breath. “Crowley said it. Hell.”

“Hell.” Shaking his head, John didn’t want to believe it. “My boy’s been to hell.”

“Both your boys, Dad.” Dean appeared. Even as he grabbed a beer before heading back to the living room, he answered. “I did 40. Sammy? 150, give or take. So the next time you decide to throw accusations around, you think about what’s tearing through his mind and you cut him some fucking slack.”

The room was quiet after Dean left it. He’d been there. He’d been on a rack. It was all there in his head, getting clearer the more he thought about it. The thought of either of his boys, much less both of them, having been there broke something inside him he hadn’t been aware could be broken. Avoiding the eyes watching him, John stood and went outside.

“Balls.” Bobby shook his head and stared into his beer as if it held the answers.

Making a decision, Jody stood. Quietly she made her way out of the kitchen.

Dean was sipping on his beer, still watching his brother when Jody’s voice broke the silence.

“How ya holding up?” She had blankets and pillows in her arms.

Taking them from her, Dean shrugged. “I’m not the one having seizures and reliving-“ Cutting himself off, he shook his head.

“Think Crowley’s telling the truth?”

“About Sam? Yeah. He knows if he took this shit out of his head I’d do any-“ He stopped again.

“Okay. So he helped this time.” Jody sat next to Dean. “The flashback stopped and he’s sleeping. So maybe- just maybe, you should get some sleep while he is?”

“Jody, I’m-“

“Fine. Yep. Heard that part. But I know the two of you well enough to know that when one suffers you both do. So since you have at least a few hours of knowing he’s okay, it might be time to get some rest yourself.” Before he could argue, she nudged him gently with her shoulder. “Bobby’s in the kitchen, your Dad is right outside, and I’ll stay right in that chair over there if it will help you get some sleep. If he so much as twitches, I’ll kick you. Hard. Promise.”

With a small smile, Dean finally caved. He stretched out on the floor in front of the sofa so that, if Sam did get up, he’d know. When Jody sat in the chair, as promised, Dean laughed. “You don’t have to do that. You’re right. He’ll sleep for a while.”

“Maybe I want to. Maybe I want to know you’re both okay.”

It struck Dean how good of a friend the sheriff had turned out to be. Considering how they’d met and the tragedies she’d incurred, at least partly due to them, it was a miracle she was still talking to them at all. He contemplated that for about thirty seconds before he fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

When Sam opened his eyes, he heard his brother snoring softly before he saw him. For the first time in weeks, he felt like he’d actually slept and was rested. Most of what had happened was a blank, but he remembered arguing with Crowley. 

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself, but a voice answered, startling him. 

“You okay?” 

Turning, he noticed Jody was sitting in the chair across from him. He nodded and shrugged. “Just realizing Crowley got a good look at me in my full-blown crazy.” With a struggle, he managed to get up off the sofa without stepping on Dean.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. From what Bobby said, he needs the two of you. Enough to help out last night.” 

“What?” His voice rose, but the woman dragged him to the kitchen to keep him from waking his brother. 

“Bobby said he knocked you out, then told Dean to call when you woke up.” 

“Everyone else still asleep?”

Jody nodded. “I just got my first cup of coffee, so it’s been a quiet night.” 

“Don’t have many of them since you met us, huh.” 

“Stop.” His self-deprecating tone just got under her skin. “I wouldn’t be having nights at all if it wasn’t for you, so I’ll take the weird ones as well as the quiet ones.” 

As he poured a cup of coffee, they heard John coming down the stairs. When the two Winchesters stared at each other awkwardly, Jody took that as her cue. “I’m gonna head home and get ready for work.” With a small smile, she hugged the youngest tightly. 

“Thanks, Jody.” Returning her embrace, Sam closed his eyes, more to avoid meeting his father’s stare. 

After the sheriff was gone, the silence grew between them. With a sigh, Sam finally started to speak, keeping his eyes trained on his cup in his hands. “So now you know just how fucking crazy I am these days.” 

Responding to the quiet tone, John sat at the table. “A lot to take in.” The last thing he wanted was another episode like the night before. Eyeing the bruise on his son’s jaw, he resolved to not be the catalyst that set him off again. “Got a million questions, Sammy.” 

“You probably don’t want the answer to half of them, Dad.” With a sigh, he finally forced himself to meet the older man’s eyes. “I didn’t exactly turn out the way you wanted me to.” 

John searched for something to say, but all that came to his mind was the fact that his boys were not only involved in a way he refused to even think about and they were apparently friends with demons. 

The silence said it all to Sam. He stood, taking his coffee and all but ran upstairs. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Dean’s voice startled him and he jerked to a stop. He hadn’t even heard his brother following him. “Nothing.” 

“Bullshit. Something happened.” Stepping closer, he stared at the taller man. “You promised to tell us-“

“If I was losing control. I’m not. Has nothing to do with……. Him.” 

“Then it’s Dad?” When Sam turned away, he sighed. “Dammit. I warned him to back off-“

“No, he didn’t say anything.” Moving quickly, he blocked the older man from leaving the room. “Don’t.” Gripping Dean’s neck, he shrugged. “Don’t fight with him because of me. You did way too much of that when I was a kid. Spent most of my childhood putting you in the middle and I’m not gonna do it now.” 

The urge to go after their father was strong, but Dean’s instinct was to stay with his brother was stronger. Nodding, he led Sam to the bed and sat next to him. 

“I guess now is as good a time as any.” 

“What?” Sam wasn’t sure he could take one more surprise. 

“Gabriel.” 

“What about him?”

“He’s back. And he wants to meet with us.” 

Sam stared at his brother in surprise. “What? How…” 

Dean shook his head. “No idea. Just showed up in a dream the other night.” 

“You think he’s the one that brought Dad back?” 

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. But he’s definitely on the list of suspects.” 

“So what do we do?” 

“Open a door. He’s waiting.” 

“Let me take a shower-“

“We don’t have to do this right now-“

“Dean,” Sam shook his head. “I had the best night I’ve had in a while. Pisses me right the fuck off it’s thanks to Crowley, but let’s do this while I’m okay.” 

Agreeing, Dean laid back and watched Sam disappear down the hall to the bathroom. As soon as he heard the water running, he went down to the kitchen. 

John and Bobby were sitting at the table, both still waking up. John knew from one glance Dean wasn’t happy with him, but he met the green eyes evenly. 

Bobby was still working on his first cup of coffee and had no idea what had transpired. 

Pouring some coffee, Dean sat down. “We’re gonna have another visitor.” He decided to just get it out and deal with any fallout before Sam got out of the shower. 

“Another demon?” 

“John.” Bobby turned to him. “Not like we want to work with the son of a bitch.” 

“No. Not another demon.” Dean had promised Sam he wouldn’t fight with John, but the older man wasn’t making it easy. “Gabriel.” 

“Thought you said he was…..” With a quick glance at John, then Dean, Bobby shrugged. “Any connection?” 

“When ISN’T there a connection?” 

“Gabriel?” John’s tone demanded an answer. 

“Archangel.” Both men answered. 

“Angel? An angel? Bullshit.” John snorted. “You’re telling me that angels are real and they’ve suddenly decided to just appear since I’ve been gone?” 

“Oh, they’re real, John. Some are just as bad as the demons.” Bobby shrugged. 

“So, if Gabriel’s real, does that mean someday Michael’s gonna make an appearance and clean up some shit?”   
Bobby and Dean both laughed, but there was no humor in it. 

“Michael’s gone.” Dean stared at John. “I’m gonna say this once, and DO NOT bring this up to Sam. Michael AND Lucifer are locked up. Permanently.” Part of him wanted to inform John that Sam had been the one to do it and that he had literally jumped into hell to save the world, but that would open a door to a lot more questions he wasn’t ready to answer yet. 

“Good riddence.” Bobby held his cup up as if to drink to that thought. 

“Thought Michael was supposed to be one of the good guys.” 

“Thought wrong.” The younger Winchester shrugged. “But right now we’re going to have to worry about Gabriel. He did a dreamscape to let me know he wants to talk.” 

Nodding, Bobby pointed to the yard. “I’d say break the sigil at the gate. Not jumping up and down at the thought of him being in the house anymore than Crowley.” 

“Not breaking any of the protection on the house for any of them, Bobby.” Standing, Dean refilled his mug. “Sam wants to do it now. While he feels like he can handle it. So as soon as I get out of the shower, we’ll get ready.” 

It wasn’t thirty minutes later Dean was putting an X over the sigil on the fence. By the time he made it back to the house Gabriel was standing out front next to Sam. 

“My two favorite chuckleheads. Alive and kicking.” Gabriel snapped his finger and sat down on the big stuffed chair that appeared behind him. “How’s life with Daddy dearest back in the mix?” 

Both younger Winchesters stared at him in shock while Bobby and John joined them from just inside the house. 

“You do it?” Sam couldn’t stop himself from asking. 

“Sorry, bucko. Not guilty.” 

“Then who’s on the top of your list of suspects?” Dean was tired of the guessing game. 

“Same guy who brought me back. Castiel.” 

“Cas?”

“Cas?” 

“In stereo no less! Guess you heard me.” Gabriel grinned. “Yep. I got this great big honking SOS from the little trench coat wonder just before he went dark.” 

“So how much did he manage to tell you with his farewell message?” Dean was still having a hard time believing Cas was behind all of it. 

“Enough.” The archangel approached Sam slowly. “He asked me to clean up his mess.” 

“Is he…… gone? For good?” The thought of Cas dying still bothered Sam. 

“Hope not. In my top two of my to-do list.” The angel shrugged. “Hate to think he blasted himself to bring us back.” 

“What do you need?” 

“Sam,” The protective big brother was in full force. “After what he did-“

“He brought you back.” The statement was absolute. In Sam’s mind, no matter what Cas had done to him, the fact that he had brought Dean back was the most important. 

“I haven’t forgotten that. But I won’t forget what he did to you, either, Sam.” 

“I get it. Little brother has a lot to answer for- what he did to your little brother is right at the top of your list. So let’s bring him back so you can kick his ass.” The angel needed them on his side and he knew it. 

“How?” 

“How?” 

“Daddy dearest, chuckles.” Gabriel turned to John. “John Winchester. The man, the myth, the legend in his own mind.”

“What the hell does that mean?” John growled, but both boys just shook their heads to let it go. 

“It means that you have the key to getting rid of the Leviathans.” 

“What the fuck is a Leviathan?” The oldest Winchester’s patience was already stretched as far as it was going to go. 

“During your time in hell, you apparently had one on your rack.” 

“What?” 

“What?” 

Both younger Winchester’s minds were reeling. 

“But you…” Dean was at a loss for words. It wasn’t even sinking in yet. 

But the youngest put the pieces together almost immediately. “We were told Dad never broke in hell.” 

“Of course he broke in hell. Kinda the point of hell, you know.” The archangel had no idea what kind of shock he was unleashing, but now he was curious. “Who told you that?” 

Both brothers hesitated, knowing they shouldn’t have trusted the demon to tell the truth. “Allistair.” 

“Allistair.” 

“And you believed that douchebag? What did he accomplish? He wouldn’t sell you that bag of shit without a reason.” 

“Allistair told Dean that Dad could have broken the first seal, but he didn’t.” Sam stared at his father for a moment, but then turned back to Gabriel when he heard the laughter. 

“What part of “righteous man” didn’t you get? Now, Johnny here’s not a bad guy, but righteous? I’m thinking NOT.”   
John was not listening to any of the conversation. He was remembering his experience in hell, the moment he broke and picked up the razor. 

“It all makes sense.” 

“What part of any of this makes sense to you, Sam?” Dean could barely breathe, but he wanted to hear what his brother was thinking. 

“When Jake opened the gate, Dad came out. How could he have escaped if he was on a rack, Dean? You think they’d just let him up to stroll on out?” 

“You’ve thought about this before.” Bobby sighed, wondering why John hadn’t jumped into the conversation yet. 

“Of course I have. Especially after all of the ‘it had to be you’ bullshit.” He turned back to Dean. “I just never knew how to mention it to you.” Sam knew that his brother wasn’t taking the news very well. All these years of holding himself up to John’s image and failing miserably in his mind wouldn’t just go away overnight. “I couldn’t prove a damn thing, and I just didn’t……” 

Gabriel watched the scene in front of him quietly. It seemed how big of a bomb he’d just dropped finally sunk in.   
Sam desperately wanted to reach out to Dean, but he knew his brother wouldn’t accept the gesture in front of their father. So he turned to Gabriel. “I wish you could bring him back.” 

“Why would you want that? I think he did enough damage the first time, Sammy.” Even as he said it, one look into the man’s eyes told him. 

“So I could kill him again. Slowly. With a few more things I learned myself.” The desire to turn his own torture onto the demon overrode the images of what had been done to him in his mind. 

“Nope. No can do. You put him down permanently. Good job, by the way. A real dickwad.” 

John finally took notice of the conversation around him. And he didn’t understand any of it. Allistair. The name sent chills down his spine. And Sam had killed him? Before he could even process that, the scene in front of him stunned him into silence. Dean looked like he was about to go into shock, Bobby not much better. But Sam, the same boy who had suffered a massive seizure and had been knocked out by a demon, advanced on the archangel- if you could believe that- and almost growled. 

“Answers, Gabriel. Now. Dad tortured a Leviathan?” 

“From what Cas told me, yes. He found out what makes those bastards tick.” 

All eyes were on the oldest Winchester and it made him uncomfortable. “Not something I really want to remember.”   
“Tough shit.” Sam was done with the games. He was sick and tired of watching Dean get hurt every time he turned around. Those lies Allistair had told him had haunted him for years. Torn him apart and left him with no hope at the time. “You had one of them. How do we get rid of them?” 

“How the fuck would I know? I don’t even know what you’re talking about!” 

“Gabriel?” The word was more of an order, but the angel shrugged. 

“Won’t be pleasant, but I can probably dig it out.” 

“Do it.” 

“Sam!” 

“No, Dean! I’m sick and tired of all this bullshit.” Turning to John, Sam squared his shoulders. “These things have the ability to destroy the fucking world. You have the answer on how to stop them buried somewhere in your memories. You can put up with a little pain to find out how.” 

“How do we even know he’s telling the truth?” John was done listening to anything this so-called angel had to say, and he’d had more than enough of his youngest’s attitude and actions. “Why should I listen to anything either of you have to say- ESPECIALLY after everything I’ve seen from you since I got back? I haven’t seen a damn thing out of you that would make me want to trust you, Sam. And you stand there and give me orders? Who in the hell do you think you are?”

“He’s the man that saved the world, Dad.” Dean stepped up beside his brother, his voice taking on a hard edge. “You hear me? Your son saved the fucking world. You’ve seen what it cost him. And now we have to do it again. Only this time we need your help. And you’re gonna damn well do it.” 

John’s jaw actually dropped at the outburst. Staring at his sons, he realized Bobby was right. They were grown men. His chain of command was definitely irreparably broken. For a moment he reeled at that loss, but he knew neither of them were going to back down on this. He realized in that moment that he hadn’t scratched the surface of what they’d been through while he was gone. Whatever differences they’d had before were gone, and Bobby’s words rang true to him. They were a united front in such a way that nothing would get between them. 

Bobby felt a rush of pride in his boys. Dean was shattering under the latest revelation, but the instant John turned on Sam, there he was, shoulder to shoulder with his brother. “I would suggest you cooperate, John.” He kept his voice low. “In case you really don’t remember, these things are eating anyone in their path. And so far, we can’t stop them.”   
The oldest Winchester stared at the men around him. He was out of options without one ally to argue the point. “What do I have to do?” 

“Stand still.” Gabriel appeared behind him and everything flashed into a blinding pain before it all went black.   


  
** ********************************* **  


It took about thirty seconds before the archangel let go of John’s head. “If you’ll break one of those, I’ll put Johnny here to bed. He’ll sleep for a while and wake up with one hell of a hangover.” 

Dean used his knife and scraped one of the sigils next to the door. Gabriel and John disappeared, but only the angel returned a few seconds later. 

“Well?” 

“Well?”

“Well?” 

This time all three hunters demanded an answer. 

“They don’t go down easy.” Returning to his place in his chair, he motioned for the men to sit in the less comfortable chairs that appeared in front of him. “Gotta get to their leader, so to speak. We take him out, the rest will be easy pickings.” 

“Leader?” Bobby shrugged. “How do we know for sure who that is?” 

“That part I can take care of. You still hanging out with the King himself?” 

“Crowley?” Sam shook his head. “Wouldn’t call it hanging out.” 

“Hanging out, hanging around, or just plain hanging. Doesn’t matter. Point is, he’s on their list as well, so he’ll be cooperative in taking them out. I’m not exactly in a position to request his presence, but you two jokers can get his attention.” 

“Okay, say we can get his attention. What do we need him to do?” 

“That’s the spirit, Deano. Knew I liked you for a reason. Aren’t that many angels left that want to come anywhere near here. You two aren’t getting any happy surprise parties from other hunters. So we use what we have.” 

“Demons.” Sam nodded. “He’s got plenty topside.” 

“Yep. With more than enough of an incentive to help take out the threat.” 

“You’re talking a coordinated attack?” Bobby was dubious. “Demons aren’t known for offering their cooperation.” 

“Which is why we need the King.” 

“We’ll get him. He won’t care about sacrificing any of his followers to save his own ass.” Dean nodded. “Probably be better bait than anything else.” 

“So bait is it. As long as we can keep the ones closest to the leader busy, we can do what we need to do.” 

“So these things can kill angels, too, right?” Sam wasn’t about to let Gabriel think they hadn’t figured out why he couldn’t make a run on the leader himself. 

“Why do you think I’m here? I think I’ve stuck my neck out enough.” 

“And we haven’t?” It had been building, and Dean couldn’t hold back any longer. “We haven’t stuck our necks out? Sacrificed ourselves and each other enough? What the fuck kind of game are you playing, Gabriel?” 

“No game. If all goes according to plan, nobody’s head gets chopped off. Not yours and especially not mine.” With a shrug, the archangel faced the Winchesters. “We have to take out Dick. According to what I got from your Daddy, they have no initiative when they’re cut off from their head honcho. Not independent thinkers. But Dick’s not about to go down easy. He’s spent a few millennia planning what he was going to do if he ever got out. And he’s pretty determined.” 

“So we need a plan.” Dean was still distracted, but he recognized the goal they had ahead of them. 

“Can we send him back to Purgatory?” Sam started to go down the steps of the spell that opened the door in the first place. 

“Possibly. But it’s better if we send him in pieces.” 

“We’re okay with that.” Sam sat on the stairs. “But we need to get a plan, with a backup plan, then another Plan B for after Crowley tries to screw us over.” 

Gabriel smiled. “Hellooooo, archangel? Crowley tries anything with you and I can handle it. But I’m thinking he’s more interested in saving his own skin then any other option.” 

“I don’t think we should let him know you’re involved.” The look on Dean’s face worried Sam and he directed the angel away from him. 

“I like it better that way.” Gabriel smiled at Sam. “Let it be a surprise.” 

“So can you find out where he is and what we’re gonna need the demons to do?” 

“Let me work on that.” He took a breath. “All kidding aside, saving Cas is up there on my priorities, too.” 

“I know.” With a nod, Sam shrugged. “You know where to find us. Let us know when you have something to work with.” 

“Will do.” With a snap Gabriel was gone. 

Sam immediately turned his attention to his brother. “Dean?” 

“Don’t.” His voice was sharp, a warning. 

“They all played us both, Dean.”

“Sam…..” 

“We’re gonna get this out. I know what he said to you. And I know what it’s been doing to you ever since.” Taking a deep breath, he knew he was risking a fist to his face. “Now you know. He broke, Dean. He got off the rack and it didn’t matter.”

“Sam,” The warning was clear. 

Bobby started to intervene, but the look on both Winchester’s faces told him they wouldn’t welcome it. With one last glance at both of his boys, he went inside. 

“It didn’t matter because it had to be us. You and me. How many times did they tell us that? It had to be you and me to break the seals.” 

Dean’s mind was reeling. In a desperate effort to end the conversation, he turned and walked into the stacks of cars.   
But Sam wasn’t having it. He’d watched his brother beat himself up for years over his own perceived weakness. With a few long strides he crossed the older man’s path and stood in front of him. “You’re gonna listen to me, Dean. You heard Gabriel. That’s the whole point of hell. You think for one minute I wouldn’t have jumped at the chance to break myself? That I wouldn’t have picked up a blade if they’d given me the option?” Green eyes snapped up to meet his. “I wouldn’t have lasted thirty years.” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I wouldn’t have lasted ten.” Clear eyes full of pain returned the stare. “I’ve never been as strong as you.” 

“That’s not true. And I wish you had been given the chance. Anything to stop-“ He couldn’t even say it. It wasn’t the first time Dean had thought about the fact that Sam had never been offered the chance, but it was the first time he’d voiced his wish that his little brother had been given any chance to stop the torture the archangels had inflicted on him.   
Large hands gripped his face gently and his little brother stared down at him. “You wish I’d been able to stop it. You wouldn’t have cared what I did to stop them from torturing me.” Something caught his eye to his side, but he forced himself to focus on his brother. “I have one question for you.” 

“I’m not talking about this, Sammy-“

“Just one, Dean. I know what I dream about. I know what I see when I lose focus on what’s going on around me. What do you dream about?” With a sigh, he leaned down until their foreheads were touching. “Do you dream about what they did to you? Or what happened after you stopped it.” 

“After I broke, you mean.” 

Frustrated, Sam refused to allow his brother to walk away. “A righteous man, Dean. It had to be a righteous man. That’s you.” With one swift move, he cornered Dean against a junked truck and finally said what he’d always felt. “He’s our father, and I love him. Believe it or not, I even respect him. But you are a better man then he ever was. I’ve always known that, always wanted to tell you. Now that heaven and hell agree with me, will you believe it?” 

Dean was so stunned by his brother’s words he had no reply. The clear hazel eyes staring into his told him that Sam believed every word he said. “Sammy-“

“I know, you’re gonna say I don’t count because I’m your brother. Or I’m biased because I’m in love with you. Or you’re gonna-“

“I’m gonna say shut up and kiss me, dumbass.” 

Even as Dean reversed their positions and proceeded to tongue fuck every inch of his mouth, Sam knew his brother just wanted the conversation to end. And pretty soon talking was the last thing Sam wanted to do. 


	7. Chapter 7

It was almost noon before John made his way downstairs and found the other three hunters gathered around the kitchen table. 

“How’s the head?” 

Gratefully accepting coffee from his youngest, he sat down. “Better. Woke up feeling like I’d been hit in the head with a hammer.” 

“Gabriel said you’d have a hangover.” Dean shrugged. 

“Gabriel. And archangel? Really?” 

All three men nodded. 

Taking a deep breath, he stared at his boys. “I’ve had it. I’ve played nice. I’ve done what you’ve asked, including letting that angel stick his fingers in my brain. So far, all I’ve gotten out of you are bits and pieces that don’t add up. I want to know what the fuck has happened while I was gone.” 

This was it. The moment that Sam had been dreading since he first realized his father was sitting in the chair in the living room. He knew Lucifer was going to chime in and he tensed. 

Dean saw every muscle in his brother’s body go taut and his eyes shot to the left. Standing, he reached for Sam’s bicep and pulled the younger man to his feet. “We can’t do this.” 

The last thing John wanted was for Sam to suffer another seizure like the last one. But things had spun so far out of control and he had none of the pieces to put it back together. Running his hands through his hair, he sighed. “Whatever happened to Sammy the other night, I don’t want it to happen again. But you have to give me something here, Dean.”  
He sighed. “Allistair?” 

Halfway through the door, Dean stopped and stared at his father. The question was out before he could stop himself. “You know him?” 

The look in John’s eyes said it all. 

Sam stared back and forth at his father and brother. For everything he’d done while under the influence of Ruby’s blood, the one thing he’d never regret was what he’d done to the demon that had tortured his brother. And, he realized now, his father. 

“You killed him?” John dared a glance at Sam, who nodded. 

“He died screaming.” Sam’s voice was quiet.

“Good.” John nodded. “Wanna let me in on how you kill demons these days? Last thing I knew the Colt-“

“Fixed.” Dean cut him off. He had no idea how he was going to deal with this entire mess where his father was concerned. 

“But that’s not how I killed him.” Sam had enough. He could hear laughter echoing in his mind, but he just wanted it over. Closing his eyes for a moment to concentrate on not letting Lucifer get to him, he pulled away from Dean and sat next to his father. “Dad, what did you know about me? What did you think I was gonna become?” He stared at his nervously clasped hands on the table. “Because I’m pretty sure I did. And a whole lot worse.” 

Staring at his trembling son, John glanced up at Dean, thinking about what he knew about their relationship. “Worse than-“ 

“Don’t.” Dean’s voice was sharp and his expression left no room to misinterpret. John knew if he said the wrong word here, there was a good chance he’d be in a fist fight with his oldest son. 

“I started the apocalypse.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but John heard it clearly. 

“Azazel’s army.” The oldest Winchester spoke quietly, before he could stop himself. 

Both boys noticed it wasn’t a question immediately. 

“No.” Sam spoke quickly, then looked up at John. “You knew. You knew what he had in mind for me. And you didn’t think to warn us?” Tear-filled hazel eyes met John’s. “What would you have done, Dad? If you hadn’t…. would you have killed me?”

Dean realized he wanted the answer as badly as Sam, but he was more afraid the answer would destroy his brother. “No. Come on, Sam, you know better-“

“No, Dean, I don’t. Dad wanted me to kill him to stop Azazel. I want to know if he would have killed me to stop him.” 

Controlling his temper wasn’t something John ever stated he could do. But the sight of his youngest son shaking so hard the table was rattling stopped him. In that instant, John realized that both of his boys really believed his answer was yes. Moving his chair closer, he reached out and gripped Sam’s shoulder. “Feels like you and I have been at each other’s throats since you learned the word ‘no’, Sammy. A lot of harsh words between us. Didn’t even take us three days to start up again. But don’t you think for one minute I wouldn’t have done anything and everything to save you.”

It crossed Dean’s mind that John hadn’t really answered the question, but when he watched his brother throw his arms around their father, he realized this particular crises had been averted. 

With his now much larger son wrapped around him, it finally hit home just how big the boy was. He felt dwarfed by those arms and all he could do was return the embrace. Later, if asked, both men would put it down to exhaustion, or the Winchester classic ‘back from the dead’ hug. But right now they both realized it had been way too rare for them to actually show each other affection. 

After a full minute, Sam pulled away. “I….” Just thinking about him brought him to the table. Desperately trying to avoid looking at the fallen angel standing behind the empty chair on the other side, Sam bit his lip and sighed. 

“Any last words?” Lucifer was grinning- the same way he did just after he’d healed Sam to start all over again. “I mean, this is it, right? Gonna tell Daddy all about what you did? If Daddy was pissed about the thought that you followed a demon, how’s he gonna feel when he finds out you fucked one? Then there’s the whole blood thing….. Not thinking Daddy’s gonna be wanting to give you a big hug again anytime soon.” The hunter cringed when Lucifer leaned closer. “You’re gonna wish you were back with me when Daddy’s done with you.” 

“Sammy!” Dropping to his knees in front of his brother, Dean gripped either side of Sam’s face and held him gently. “Look at me. Come on, don’t do this.” 

“I’m okay.” Leaning into his brother’s touch, Sam took a deep breath and concentrated on the frightened green eyes staring into his. 

“Yeah, you look it.” Not letting go, Dean turned to their father. “This isn’t gonna happen, Dad. I know you have a truckload of questions, but we’re not going to go through that again over it.” 

Nodding, John was just grateful that Sam apparently came out of this quickly. It wasn’t over; John was going to find out what set his boys on the path that led to some kind of choice regarding Adam and a supersized bed in the bedroom upstairs. But for the moment, it could wait a bit longer.

With another sigh, Sam allowed his brother to pull him to his feet. “I’m sorry-“

“Don’t. I know at some point we’re gonna have to share and get this out. But not when-“ Dean refused to say the “L” word- “someone- is throwing his two cents in your fucking ear every thirty seconds.” 

“That might be never.” Sam’s voice was quiet. 

“We’ll figure something out. We always do.” 

“Always do.” Sam finished with him and they both smiled. 

“That’s right. So, let’s work with what we’ve got in front of us. We need to know what Gabriel’s dug up. Go pray to your buddy.” 

“MY buddy?” 

“He likes you.” Dean’s sing-song tone made his brother laugh. 

“Fine. See if he answers.” Sam left the house to go break the sigil to allow the angel to arrive. 

As soon as the door closed behind him, Dean turned to John. “Doesn’t matter how, or even why at this point. Sam didn’t start the apocalypse. WE started the apocalypse. I broke the first seal; he broke the last. Lucifer got out. He was out for a year.” His throat tightened, but he forced himself to finish. “Sam dragged that son of a bitch back into the cage, took his fucking big brother with him. But there was a catch.” Leaning closer, he stared at their father, willing him to understand what he was saying. “My little brother was locked in that fucking cage with Lucifer and Michael for a year. A top-side year.” 

Stunned, John could barely whisper. “One hundred-“

“And fifty. Or so. We got him out. We brought him back, and he didn’t have angels or heaven to make him forget. So he’ll pay for everything we both did wrong for the rest of his life.” 

“Jesus, Dean.” 

“Pretty much. So yeah, there’s a lot you don’t know, but I’m NOT risking him to discuss it.” 

“Oh, good. Gabriel’s here.” The sarcasm was unmistakable in Bobby’s tone when he entered the kitchen. What he saw John, he stopped. “You okay?” 

Someone had dropped a bomb on the hunter, and Bobby had a feeling it had something to do with Sam. John started to shake his head, but their eyes met and the Winchester couldn’t manage the façade. “I just don’t….” Accepting the offered drink, he stared at Bobby. “Thank you.” 

“Might think twice about that after you actually drink it.” 

“Not for the drink. For everything you’ve done for them.” Staring at the glass in his hands, he forced himself to say what he’d never been able to say before. “Not just since I died. Before that. You were always there for them. But, Christ, I never wanted to live long enough to see them both so broken, Bobby.” 

“They’re still standing. Took more than one thing getting between them for them to figure out the only way was to stop letting that happen.” With a sigh, he headed for the door. “Let’s go see how we’re gonna save the world this time.” 

“You know this isn’t gonna work.” Sam stared at his brother, wondering how they’d gotten roped into this one.   
Reading the other hunter’s expression, Dean shrugged. “Shit plan. The dumbasses we’re working with will probably turn on us-“

“I think that makes US the dumbasses, Dean.” 

“So how is this plan different from any of the other plans we’ve gone along with?” 

“Can’t think of a thing.” 

“Boys.” John moved closer to them. “Are you sure sending demons in after those things will work?” 

“Best case, they all die after we get Dick’s head chopped off. Worst case, they all die before and we’re trapped.” Dean shifted the small tank strapped to his back. “Let’s hope the intel Gabriel pulled out of your head is right and this shit will stop them.” 

“The fact that Gabriel and Crowley ain’t along for this doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy.” Bobby chimed in and both boys stared at him. 

“And in what scenario would having Crowley along give you warm fuzzies, Bobby?” 

“Just saying-“ He realized Sam was staring at him with a wry smile. “Idjit.” 

Both younger Winchesters laughed, but John wasn’t amused. “Enough. We need to go over this again.”   
It had been too many years since the boys had hunted with their father, and neither of them were ready for the strict no-talking rule he’d always employed with them. Last words and gallows humor were a part of them now. 

“Dad, we’ve got it.” Dean shook his head. “Wait for all hell to break loose and go in.” 

“Good plan, Dean. Thought the whole idea was NOT to get anybody killed aga-“

His words cut off when, for the first time ever, his oldest son had his shirt with his fists and shoved him into the wall. “Nobody’s gonna die today except Dick and those fucking things he brought out of Purgatory with him.” 

“Dean-“ It was a scenario that none of the hunters had ever believed would happen, but Sam reached between his brother and father to pry Dean’s hands off of John. “Come on, man. This whole going after Dad is my thing.” 

Dean roughly released John with a final shove. “Thought we’d change it up a bit.” But his tone left no room to suggest his anger had subsided. “Those demons are gonna rush that building any second now, and we’d damn sure better be ready to finish this when they do.”

“Hey,” Sam’s voice was soft. “We’re ready.” The younger man’s tone and expression had the desired effect. Green eyes met his and, with a sigh, Dean visibly relaxed. 

A loud crash broke the silence. Bobby shook his head. “Guess that’s our cue.” 

Trying to stay close to any cover they had, the four hunters approached the building slowly. Once they got close enough, they could see inside was total chaos. Demons and Leviathans fighting while more demons ran past and into the elevators. Knives, axes, and a spray that could only be the Borax they’d hoped would work were flying around the lobby. 

“How long to get to the top floor?” Sam was trying to calculate how long they’d have to wait and how much time they’d need to get there. 

“No idea.” Dean watched the fight trying to see if the demons were at least getting some kind of edge.   
“Go now.” Crowley appeared behind them. “Third elevator- the express. Goes straight to Dick’s offices.”   
Taking a step back from the demon, John stared at him. “You coming with?”

“Of course not. Dick wants my head as badly as he wants yours.” 

“Third elevator, straight to the top. How many Leviathans and do you have enough demons up there to get them off our backs?” 

“Don’t worry about my end, Moose. Just get your band of merry hunters to the party.” 

With one more thought about how utterly stupid this plan was, the four men pushed through the front doors. As promised, the Leviathans were occupied by the hoards of demons Crowley had sent to fight, and they slipped past the various battles. 

As the elevator doors closed behind them, John turned to his boys. “Did either of you stop to think about all the people those demons possessed to pull this off?” 

Afraid of what Dean would say to the hint that he was getting people killed again, Sam stepped up to John and stared at him. “Of course we did. According to Crowley, most of them were already possessed and he just called them here. Probably already dead.” 

“You tell keep telling yourself that, Sam.” John didn’t like anything about following an angel’s plan and enlisting a demon to carry it out. So, as any Winchester with no control over a situation would do, he lashed out in anger.   
It was Bobby who intervened this time. “Not the time, John.” The last thing the older hunter wanted was to go into this with the Winchesters fighting amongst themselves. 

Before any more words could be spoken, the doors opened and a pair of fighting monsters fell into the car with them. Shoving John out of the doors, Sam raised his machete and swung hard on the Leviathan. Once the head was separated, he glared at the demon. “Get that head out of here.” 

Black eyes flashed at the youngest Winchester. “I don’t take orders from you.” 

“Maybe this will persuade you.” Dean pressed the demon killing knife to his throat. “Or we could just leave you here with it. But it’ll be back and pissed off in about three minutes, so make up your mind now.” 

“Fuck both of you!” The demon bent down to retrieve the head. 

“Nah. Not our type.” Dean mumbled as they exited the elevator. “Where the fuck is Dad?” 

“Dammit!” Sidestepping a demon as it was thrown past them, Sam looked around. “Don’t have time to chase him down.” 

“Hopefully he’s headed the right way.” Bobby shoved a demon that got too close and moved past the boys.   
Quickly, they followed the older hunter across the hallway to the double doors that led to Dick’s office. With a nod to his brother, Sam shoved the door opened and Dean smoothly moved through it with his shotgun ready. The first blast brought Sam up to the older Winchester’s back with his own shotgun raised. The exploding head in front of them splattered the walls and all three hunters with black goo. Knowing they only had a few short minutes, they moved to the second room where Dick Roman himself, or at least the Leviathan copy, was watching the destruction around him on monitors. He was so busy cursing his supposed bodyguards he didn’t notice the hunters until they were right behind him. 

“I was wondering when you would show up. Heard you brought dear old Dad along for the ride. Should have known letting that little traitor run was a mistake. But he found that back door to hell, and I was planning on thanking John for taking care of him. From what I hear, he screamed a lot on Dad’s rack.” 

“Thanks to him, we’re gonna take care of you.” Dean raised his machete, but Dick bared his numerous sets of teeth and tried to charge the older Winchester. The Leviathan was immediately screaming, and steam was flowing from his body. 

Sam held the nozzle on the tank he was carrying and shrugged. “Borax works.” 

“Well, let’s just pat ourselves on the back until he gets up.” Grumbling at the boys, Bobby stepped up and swung the machete. Dick jerked his head out of the way as the blade came down and he kicked out at the hunter’s legs. As Bobby fell, Sam sprayed the Leviathan again. When Dick turned away from the spray, Dean took the opportunity to shoot the head clean from the body with his shotgun. Knowing they only had a small window of time to finish this, both Winchesters began spraying and cutting away at the monster. 

They didn’t notice the fighting around them stopped. The Leviathans stood still as the demons dispatched them quickly. Before the hunters could even catch their breath, Crowley appeared, clapping loudly a couple times. 

“Ding dong Dick is dead.” Dean shared a look with Sam that was only partially relieved. He stood watch over the pieces of Leviathan as the taller man deliberately turned his back to the demon and helped Bobby to his feet.   
“And now let’s make sure those pieces remained scattered.” 

“You don’t think I’m going to let you take all of him, do you?” Gabriel appeared, and Dean realized Sam had deliberately turned away so he could pray for the archangel without the demon knowing. 

“You double-crossed me?” Crowley turned to the hunters with a furious glare. “You have any idea what I do to anyone who does that?” 

“Nothing this time, Bucko.” Gabriel’s smile was smug and he stepped in front of the demon. “Never said you couldn’t take some of him. That way, you have some and I have some to dispose of, since we both have an interest in making sure no one ever puts him together again.” 

The King of Hell was furious, but he wasn’t about to go face to face with an archangel, and they all knew it. 

“Finish the clean up and get your asses out of here.” Dean glared at Crowley, daring him to make a move. 

“I got you here. You can clean up your own mess. And by the way, you might want to go find Daddy. Seems a couple of Leviathans with a special liking for the two of you took him that way.” After pointing his finger towards the closed door, Crowley was gone, along with about half of Dick Roman, and the demons following as fast as they could.

Immediately the Winchesters stormed through the door and stopped. Two Leviathans bearing a chilling resemblance to the two of them were on the floor, black goo pouring from their necks. John Winchester stood a few feet from them, but what shocked all three hunters and the archangel was the fact that Castiel was standing between the Leviathan corpses. 

“Cas?” Sam approached him cautiously, shaking Dean’s restraining hand off his arm. 

“They are incapacitated at the moment, but I will make sure they don’t return.” The angel’s voice was unnaturally quiet. Both brothers would swear they could hear the emotions in his voice. 

Gabriel approached his brother slowly. “Are we free of the black goo or-“ 

“It is gone. Once their center was destroyed, I easily expelled him.” 

“Wait,” Sam got closer. “Were you actually possessed by one of them?” 

“In a way.” Cas turned to Sam, but refused to meet his eyes. 

“Glad to hear it.” Dean mumbled more than spoke as he turned away. Everything else the angel had done he would be willing to overlook. But bringing down the wall that protected his brother was apparently the line for the hunter. Unable to bring himself to even look at Cas, he spoke to John. “Dad?” 

The oldest Winchester was standing still, staring at Sam with an expression that none of the other hunters could read. 

“You okay?” Sam felt uneasy under his father’s scrutiny. 

With no reply, John pushed past the group and to the elevator. 

“What the hell?” Bobby shook his head and turned back to the angels. “You see anything?” 

Cas seemed to sense the tension coming from Dean, and he stepped back towards Gabriel. “When I found him, he was surrounded by two Leviathans that had taken your images. I do not know all that happened, but I was able to dispatch them quickly.” 

“Is Gabriel right? Did you bring him back?” 

A short nod, but no eye contact was all Sam got for an answer. 

“Thank yo-“

“Yeah, glad Dad’s back, but after what he did to you-“ Dean tried to drag his brother towards the elevator, but Sam refused to be pulled. 

“He brought YOU and Dad back, Dean. Stop.” 

Both angels disappeared, leaving Sam grateful that they left before Dean could do something that might get them smited. When the other three hunters reached the elevator, they realized that John had already descended and they’d have to wait for the car to return.


	8. Chapter 8

“What did they do to Dad?” 

“Gotta admit, that was weird.” Dean sighed but Bobby shook his head. 

“Could just be that he watched Cas rip two monsters apart that looked and sounded just like you.” 

“Yeah, shooting myself was ten kinds of strange.” The older brother’s mind went back to his own encounter with a shifter that had chosen his image to try to kill his brother. 

By the time Bobby and the boys reached the ground floor, John was already in the shotgun seat of the Impala.   
Climbing in behind the wheel, Dean tried again. “Dad, you okay?” 

“Just drive, Dean.” 

“And yet another awkward family road trip,” Sam muttered to Bobby. 

With a stifled snicker, the older hunter nodded. 

It was literally a silent drive back to Singer Salvage. By the time Bobby’s house was in view, both younger Winchesters were more than ready to be free. They’d stopped for gas and food, but John’s mood hadn’t improved. If anything, it darkened. Any time either of his sons tried to approach him, he ignored them as if they hadn’t spoken. Even Bobby had tried, with the same results. 

As soon as the ignition was off, Dean jumped out of the car. “We saved the world again, dammit. There is half a bottle of rotgut and a case of beer in there with my name on it.” He was through letting his father dampen the mood he felt they were entitled to. 

Sam was much more interested in getting his brother alone, but he nodded. “Still got a bottle of the good stuff in there. Guess that’s mine.” 

“You’ll need it after I break those fingers for touching it,” Bobby threatened, but his eyes betrayed the lie. 

Even as the other three planned their celebration, John stood silently beside the Impala. Finally he spoke. “You know…….” 

Bobby and the boys turned to him, hoping they were about to find out what had him in such a nasty mood.   
“Those Leviathans. They’re more like…. shifters, I guess.” 

“Wish they’d gone down as easy as a shifter.” Dean shook his head. “One silver bullet?” 

“Would have been nice.” Sam agreed, but John interrupted them. 

“I mean they take on the physical appearance, but it’s more than that. They take on the memories, some personality, too, maybe.” 

A sudden sense of foreboding struck Sam even as his father approached him. 

“At first I didn’t know. Got shoved around in the hallway, next thing I know you two were calling me to follow. No idea it wasn’t you. Stopped even pretending once they had me locked in that office. The one that looked like you really liked to run his mouth, Sam.” Standing in front of his youngest, he stared into the now apprehensive eyes. “Is it true, Sam? Everything about you and some demon bitch named Ruby?” 

Even as John was demanding an answer, he prayed that Sam would say no. 

Speechless, Sam could only clench his fists to try to quell the trembling. Dad knew. Everything. His throat tightened to the point he couldn’t breathe. All he could do was nod. Shame, guilt, and laughter echoing in his head forced Sam to drop his eyes so he never saw it coming. John’s fist caught him in the cheek, and he was aware of pain shooting through his head before everything went black. 

Dean saw it coming, but he was too far away to stop his father from punching his brother out. From where he was, it looked like there was a possibility Sam’s jaw was broken from the force of the blow. “Son of a bitch! Dad!” Gripping John’s shirt, he dragged his father away from the fallen hunter. “I’m sure they told you all of his greatest hits, but I’m damn sure they didn’t tell you the whole story.” 

“The whole story? Just what would be the whole story, Dean? You gonna tell me?” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Did I miss the part where you told me that he dragged your brother into hell and YOU left him there to rot?” 

Dean was trying to form a response, but John wasn’t finished. “Demon blood, Dean. Did you know about that? Did you know about Sam and that demon bitch?” The expression on his oldest son’s face told him all he needed to know. Another punch flew and Dean stumbled back a few steps from the blow. 

“Goddammit, John!” Bobby had enough. “You get yourself under control and stop your shit. Right now. Or you can get the hell off our property.” 

“Don’t start with me, Singer. Sounds like the two of them forgot how to control themselves while I was gone.”   
There was no defense and Dean knew it. So he moved towards his brother, but John stepped in front of him. “Come on, Dean. The whole story? Where does the part about Sam drinking demon blood and sticking his dick in a demon come in? Before or after you let him stick his dick in you?” 

“That’s enough!” Bobby was done watching John Winchester abuse his boys. “Dean, check on your brother. Get him out of here.” 

Sam was already starting to stir. Bobby and Dean both knew what could happen if Sam got caught up in this argument.   
“We’re not done.” 

Sam’s eyes opened, his father’s voice echoing in time to the pounding in his face. 

“Yeah, Dad. We are.” Dean shook his head. “You know what this does to Sammy and we’re not gonna do it. You heard Bobby.” 

“You know what it did to me to watch him have those seizures? To not know what was happening to him? That’s because you did everything you could to avoid telling me that he’d done something he SHOULD pay for as long as he lives.” John’s voice dropped to a whisper that was more threatening than the shouting he had been doing. “Something you should have put a stop to before he almost ended the fucking world.” 

“Dad, stop.” Sam struggled to his feet, wincing from the pain and the now thunderous laughter from Lucifer in his ears. “Dean’s not responsible for what I did. It’s on me.” 

Lucifer was standing right behind his father and Sam shook his head to try to clear it. Which only made the images waver that much more. The fallen angel was nearly dancing with joy at the turn of events. He mimicked a gun, a knife, anything that would kill Sam on the spot. Trembling, Sam focused on John, who was glaring at him with a mixture of hatred and disgust. 

“Oh, you’re responsible. For more destruction then I ever imagined. But Dean is responsible for not following the last order I ever gave him.” 

“What kind of asshole tells his son to save or kill his brother?!” Sam was grateful for Bobby’s support, but he was actually afraid for the hunter taking on his father’s anger. 

“The kind of asshole that knows the fate of the world was in the balance.” 

Sam’s blood literally ran cold at his father’s next words. 

“I guess the kind of asshole that shouldn’t have taken any chances and done what should have been done before he died.” 

When John’s arm raised, Sam realized with horror that he was holding the Colt. “Dad, wait, come on, please! I fucked up! I know I did.” 

“Don’t call me Dad. The things you’ve done….. Should have left you in that nursery to burn.” 

The words took Sam’s breath and he gasped. But that was all the time he had before the sound of the gun firing and the pain of the impact in his head. Everything went black. 

The second John had accused Dean of not putting a stop to Sam, Bobby had actually stepped forward and faced the angry hunter. “I don’t know what those sons of bitches told you, but I can guaran-damn-tee they didn’t give you the whole story. I was here, and I saw those angels and demons both trying to start the fucking apocalypse. How do you expect them to fight the oldest angels and demons that exist? They had a goddamned millennia to plan it, and your boys STILL stopped it. They’re the ones that paid for God being an asshole, they paid for every mistake they made, I made and YOU made.” 

John was shocked at Bobby’s outburst at first, but he recovered and was about to go nose to nose with his friend until Dean’s panicked voice cut through the argument. 

“Sammy!” Dean knew his brother couldn’t see any of them. Whatever he was seeing was obviously terrifying him. He stumbled back from the older Winchester, begging and pleading for someone to not do something. Dean could only guess what that something was, but he knew for sure it entailed pain for Sam. 

Suddenly the taller man’s body jerked and he fell to the ground. The seizure took hold quickly, and Dean dropped to his knees beside his brother. Both older hunters approached them, but stayed back enough to not crowd them. 

The way Sam’s limbs were flailing prevented the older brother from getting close, but he continued to beg the man he loved to come back to him. 

John watched quietly, his mood instantly subdued, anger now warring with fear as he watched his sons. 

Sam’s body was on fire. It made sense. He’d been killed by his father and was most likely back in Hell. Where, he believed, was where he belonged. His thoughts were scattered between screams, and Lucifer smiled as the fire consumed him. He felt his blood boil as it coursed through his body. For well over a century this had been a regular occurrence, and now it would be again. The archangel smiled as he leaned over the hunter. “Daddy knew where you were supposed to be, didn’t he?” 

A touch of a finger sent shockwaves that snapped bones in Sam’s ribs and spine. The pieces grated together and he could barely take in a breath to scream. 

Dean looked up at Bobby, who didn’t need to hear the words to answer the question. 

“Going on about seven minutes now.” 

“Hospital?” John pulled his phone out, but both other hunters shook their heads. 

“He’s locked in his head. Doctors can’t help him.” Dean was openly crying now, not really giving a shit who was watching. His thoughts kept going back to one thing. This was it. He was going to lose his brother. Right here, right now. And he wasn’t ready. 

Turning to Bobby, John sighed. “Can we summon Crowley? He helped before.” 

“We could try, but it’s not like he’s got a reason to help, now.” Bobby took a deep breath and approached Dean slowly. “We can’t just leave him like this, son.” 

When Dean shook his head, the older hunter kneeled down beside him. “Then we try Cas and Gabriel. They’re the only ones who might be able to help him now.” 

Standing, Dean glared at his father before looking up. “Castiel! Get your ass down here, you son of a bitch! You fucking did this to him. He agreed to help you even AFTER you destroyed him on purpose. You fucking owe him!” His throat constricted. The angel hadn’t appeared, and Dean was afraid that was his answer. “Please, Cas.” The words were whispered. “I love him.” 

“Dean.” Castiel’s voice was quiet and he moved towards the brothers. “How long?” 

“Nearly ten minutes now.” Bobby shifted to get between Dean and the angel. He wanted to trust Cas, but he’d seen the angel bring down Sam’s wall for no reason other than to distract Dean. 

“I don’t know if I can do anything.” 

The sight of an angel dropping to his knees next to his youngest son and appear to pray nearly broke John’s heart. Heaven being willing to fight for the boy in front of him, the boy he had believed only minutes ago thought belonged in hell, had to mean something. The thought crossed his mind that maybe there was more going on than he’d been told. 

_ “What we do to each other in the dark makes you sick, doesn’t it, Dad?” The Leviathan wearing Sam had sneered at John taking advantage of details that had been locked in Sam’s head. “Is fucking my brother a step up or a step down from fucking a demon?”  _

_ “Don’t forget the blood- you had a real thing for that bitch blood cocktail, too, Sammy.” The imposter Dean patted him on the back.  _

_ “That’s right.” ‘Sam’ moved closer. “Every. Chance. I. Got. Drank enough to pop Lucifer right out of his cage.”  _

Cas said something that John missed, but the tone of his oldest’s voice was enough to pull him out of the memories of learning his son’s past. 

“Then you may was well take me, too.” 

“Dean!” 

“No, Bobby. I’m not staying here without him again.” 

“What?” John missed something, apparently something big from the look on Bobby’s face. He’d never even seen his old friend’s eyes water, so the two tears that were running down his face at that moment terrified John. 

“Cas just basically offered to put Sam out of his misery, and Dean wants to…..” The other hunter couldn’t finish the sentence. But he knew Dean wouldn’t last without Sam, even if Cas refused to take them together. Bobby’s heart skipped a beat at the thought, but he knew. Neither of them had any desire to live without the other. 

The oldest Winchester stared at his boys while it sunk in. Cas couldn’t help Sam, and Dean wasn’t going to let him go alone. The angel was about to take both boys away from him. “No! What about that other angel, Gabriel? Isn’t he supposed to be an archangel? Aren’t they stronger, or more juice or some shit? He can’t help?” 

“I don’t know where he is.” Cas shook his head. “I can track most angels, but not archangels.” 

The angel actually looked almost as destroyed as Dean did. Suddenly he looked up at the Winchester, and before anyone could ask what he was thinking, he reached out and gripped the hunter. “Stay still.” 

When Cas reaching literally _INTO_ Dean, John went for him. Bobby took John’s outstretched arm and pulled him back.   
Dean screamed like the angel was ripping him apart, and his father swung at Bobby to get free. 

“John, stop! Hurts like a bitch, but if it gives Cas whatever he needs to save Sam, he could use me, too.” 

“He’s killing him, Bobby!” The oldest Winchester was convinced the angel was doing exactly what Dean had asked him to do. And he was willing to go through Bobby and kill the angel if he had to. 

“No, he’s not. He’s using him. Cas has a plan and we have to let them see it out. Neither of them will let Sam go without a fight. So for once in your fucking life just stand back.” 

Dean’s screams died out, but he was still obviously in agony. With one hand still in Dean, the angel began to speak in a language that Bobby knew was Enochian. 

“How did you-“ Gabriel’s words died off when he saw what was going on. Castiel spoke to him, still using Enochian, and the archangel looked stunned. He asked a question, which this time Cas bellowed a response that got the other angel moving. When he got to the other side of Sam, both angels placed their hands on the youngest Winchester’s head and he instantly stilled. A bright light bathed the four on the ground while Bobby and John watched. 

They didn’t have to speak Enochian to know that Castiel was doing something that Gabriel questioned before assisting. Bobby didn’t know if that was a good sign for his boys or a bad one. Either way, the light faded and soon the angels released both Winchesters. 

Dean collapsed, which Bobby had expected, but what surprised the hunter is that Castiel seemed to lose consciousness as well. 

Standing slowly, Gabriel approached the older hunters. “Got a spot I can park the three of them?” 

“You want to tell me just what the fuck you did to my boys?” John was scared, and when he was scared, it pissed him off.

“Saving them.” Gabriel glared at the hunter. “A little gratitude would be nice.” The air felt like it was actually rippling and for the first time Bobby could almost see the power that an archangel truly possessed. Behind the sarcasm and lethal sense of humor, it was sometimes easy to forget Gabriel really was an archangel with the forces of heaven contained within him. 

“Thank you.” Threatening power aside, Bobby wasn’t above standing on his head and dancing a jig if the angel that had just saved Sam asked him to. 

“See? He gets it.” The power dissipated and the angel was, once again, smiling. “This wasn’t easy, and it’s gonna take a few days for Cas’s batteries to recharge, so… he off Dean’s shit list now?” 

“Saved his brother. He’ll be safe.” Sure that Dean would be at least cordial, if not completely forgiving, Bobby knew he could count on the Winchester not trying to deep fry any wings for a while. Hopefully. “Just in case, I’ll hide the deep fryer.” 

Gabriel laughed, but it wasn’t the normal joviality he’d seen out of the angel before. Whatever they had done had obviously taken a lot from him as well. 

Bobby kept his voice low, containing his emotions. “You mind telling us what that was?” 

“Sam will be okay. I’m not saying the nightmares will stop, but the hallucinations and seizures are gone. Took a lot of power to do that, and a bit of bonding.” 

“Bonding?” Both hunters asked at the same time. 

After a moment, the angel sighed. “I don’t think you can understand-“

“Try us.” John snapped and Bobby sighed. 

“Not the way to get an answer out of him, John.” 

“Okay. Just ‘cause I’m drained and probably not thinking right, I’ll try to dumb this down for you. My little brother got it in his head that he had to save Sam, but he needed more power than he had, so he…. Used Deano over there’s soul to amp himself. Called me, I came, ‘cause I’m such a great guy, and we fixed it. Now the batteries are run down and they need to charge.” 

“And we wouldn’t understand that?” 

“Like I said, dumbed down version. It’s actually a lot more complicated, but I don’t have time to wait for your brains to evolve. Need to get these three inside so I can go back to my super secret hideout.” With that, Gabriel snapped his fingers and the four of them disappeared. 

Bobby and John ran into the house to find Cas on the sofa. A trip up the stairs revealed Sam and Dean on their bed in their room. All three appeared to be sleeping. 

Bobby led John back to the kitchen and poured full tumblers of the good stuff Sam had mentioned earlier.   
“Okay, John. You want to hit me with what you heard and I’ll fill in some blanks?” 

“So NOW you’re willing to talk?” 

“I’m willing to fill in some details that those bastards left out. On purpose. You can agree with that, right?” 

“I just…” John was at a loss for words. Part of him knew that he should have realized the whole thing was to get to him. But the fact that it was true- he couldn’t begin to fathom a reason for anything either of those boys had done. “Adam, Bobby. I have to know why he’s in…… where he is.” 

Nodding, Bobby grabbed the bottle. “Gonna be a long night.” 


	9. Chapter 9

Sam awoke slowly, taking in his surroundings. When the memories hit him, he sat up and looked around. 

“Sammy?” 

Turning, he saw his brother, propped up on his elbow, staring at him. “Are we…. He…. I-“

“Hey,” Gently, Dean reached out and pulled the other man to lie back down beside him. “Deep breath. Look at me.” 

Sam closed his eyes and leaned into the hand that was holding his face. Forcing himself to find the words, he opened his eyes again and stared into those green eyes he’d loved since he was born. “Are we dead?” 

Dean chuckled softly. “Can’t be. I don’t believe heaven would be this good.” 

Once again, Sam sat up. “Dad… he… he shot me.” 

“He what?!” 

“He shot me. He had the Colt.” 

“Christ, is that what you saw?” Shifting so he was leaning against the headboard, he pulled Sam back into his arms.  
“No, Sam, he didn’t. Doesn’t have the Colt; didn’t shoot you. I promise.” 

“So what did happen?” 

The older man really didn’t want to go into it, but he realized the truth wasn’t nearly as bad as the hallucination that had taken Sam under. “Okay, the Leviathans told Dad a lot of shit about… well, pretty much every mistake we both ever made, and he freaked. But he didn’t shoot you, didn’t threaten to shoot you. You went into the worst seizure you’ve ever had.” Dean’s voice sounded choked. Tears came and he gripped his brother tighter. “I thought that was it, Sammy. I thought you were gone, that I had lost you for good.” 

“How long was I under?” 

“I don’t know. Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes before Cas showed up.” 

“Cas?” 

“Yeah. I…. called him. I don’t know exactly what happened. He did a soulectomy on me and lights out.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine. I don’t know what he did, but we’re both here. I’m tired, but we’re both okay.” He traced his fingers along Sam’s shoulders and up into his hair. “How are you? Any….. do you…” 

“Nothing. He’s not here, if that’s what you’re asking.” Relaxing into the touch, Sam wanted to lose himself in his brother. 

“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.” 

“Should we go try to do some damage control?” 

“No.” Dean nudged the larger man up to face him. “Whatever Dad is gonna do, he’s gonna do. Bobby told him to get over it or get gone. So we’ll see what he does.”

“Jesus. I’m sorr-“

“I told him the same thing, Sam.” Dean shrugged. “No matter how glad I am he’s back, you’re the one that matters to me. Right now, you’re here, looking at me and talking. Never thought I’d see that again. Just wanna be here with you right now.” 

With a smile, Sam kissed him. The kiss quickly turned heated, and he arched into the warm hands working their way under his shirt. 

They shifted and pulled until their clothes were scattered around the bed on the floor. Dean tried to hold back. He didn’t know if Lucifer was truly gone or not, but he was so desperate to have Sam against him that he couldn’t stop from stretching out on top of the larger man. 

It seemed they were free from any sign of a hallucination if the way Sam gripped him and ran his hands all over Dean’s body was anything to go by. With no hint of any interruptions coming from his mind, he spread his legs and made room for his brother between them. The second he felt that hard cock sliding along his own he arched up and shifted his hips to get more friction. He welcomed the soft lips against his and deepened the kiss. 

The older Winchester ground against his brother, wanting more, but still not sure his brother was okay. When he realized there was a tube of lube being shoved into his hand, he lifted his head, broke the kiss and stared into those hazel eyes with the unspoken question. 

“It’s okay. We’re alone.” 

After searching Sam’s face for any hint that he was anything but okay, Dean smiled that smile of his that rolled loving adoration and sinful promise into one smoldering look. He coated his fingers liberally before gently prodding the small ring of muscle to open for him. Trying to read his brother’s reactions, he moved slowly. But Sam was having none of it.   
“Come on, Dean.” 

Responding to the desperation, he scissored his fingers harder and deeper, eliciting a moan out of Sam that curled his toes and literally made his dick seep with precum. By the time he was up to three fingers, that long hard body under him was writhing and spewing a stream of “now, fuck me, Dean, come on, I’m ready,” 

When the head of his dick breached his brother’s body, Dean almost lost it. He gripped his brother’s thigh for a moment, and the younger man understood he needed a second to keep it together. Finally he felt like he could move without losing all control, and he started with long, hard strokes. Both men gasped, and Dean leaned down and kissed Sam. 

Neither of them were going to last this time, so they went with a fast paced rhythm that would be over quickly. But it didn’t matter. What mattered to both of them was that they were here, together, alive, and a feeling of relief overwhelmed them. Sam arched his back, his muscles locking down as a hot stream of cum spread across his abdomen. The tight heat on his cock sent stars shooting behind Dean’s eyes and he followed his brother quickly.   
Still trying to catch their breath, they stared into each other’s eyes for a minute. Sam’s eyes were clear, and Dean realized that whatever Cas had done had worked. Stretching out beside his brother, he wrapped his arms around the man and pulled him close. 

It was a couple hours later before they made their way downstairs. Finding Cas in the kitchen along with their father and Bobby made an already awkward situation about ten times worse. Until John stood and crossed the room to Sam. Dean tensed, having no idea what his father was about to do or say to his brother. 

Memories of his hallucination of John shooting him forced Sam to tense, and he waited for his father’s judgement. Instead he got a very calm man staring into his eyes and speaking softly. 

“I knew, but I didn’t.” 

“What?” Sam was sure he sounded like an idiot, but the angel interrupted. 

“Bobby and I have tried to… ‘fill in the gaps’ of what the Leviathan told him and the truth. Which is what I would also like to do with you, if you would allow me.” 

“Not right now, Cas.” Sam shrugged. “Just glad you’re back. And thanks, right? You took care of the crazy in my head?” 

“Gabriel helped.” 

“I don’t even remember him being here.” Dean shook his head. 

“We had to use your soul to help heal Sam’s.” 

“What? What do you mean use his soul?” Sam was afraid they’d hurt his brother. 

“Nothing that will have any lasting side effects.” The angel stood. “Dean was rendered unconscious, but he is fine now. As are you. I have to leave. There are…. Certain situations that I must attend to that I have caused.” 

“Know that feeling.” Sam smiled ruefully. “Take care, Cas. Thanks again.”

Cas gave Sam a small sad smile of his own, appreciating the understanding. “Thanks are not necessary. If it were not for what I had done…” The angel’s voice trailed off. “I’m sorry, Sam. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for what I did to you.” There was the familiar whisper of feathers in the room and he was gone before Sam had a chance to respond.

There was silence in the room for a minute as John stared at his sons. “I wish I’d been here to help.” 

“So do we, Dad.” Dean went for the coffee. “But a lot of shit happened, we had to clean it up, and here we are. I, for one, am sick and tired of talking about the past.” 

“No argument, here.” John had heard the entire story, as told by Bobby and an angel. He was more than ready to move on. “I need to say this, though. Bobby, Jody, and your angel buddy were right. You both grew up to be good men.” With a soft sigh, he shook his head. “Spent half my life hunting a demon. Never knew fucking angels were on the payroll. You two took ‘em all on and won. And I’m proud of both of you.” 

Stunned, both Winchester brothers stared at their father for a moment. Then, the Winchester in all three of them came out and they sat down with their coffee and the moment was gone. Moment over, time to move on. 


End file.
